A Dreamy Disorder

Until now, I always thought of daydreaming as a universal phenomenon that lets us disconnect from our thoughts, feelings, surroundings and perception of time. Daydreams usually help me to briefly “escape” by imagining or picturing scenarios when I’m experiencing stress, anxiety, depression or life challenges.

According to the experts, daydreaming can often be a constructive opportunity for reflection. When it happens outside the realm of our responsibilities, daydreaming can be helpful. Its benefits can include an uplifted mood and heightened creativity.

But if the dreams become too persistent, it can signal as a problem for individuals.

Too much of anything is bad for you — or so the saying goes. But does this include intensive, indulgent over-daydreaming? Experts say “yes”. Maladaptive Daydreaming (MD) a psychiatric disorder termed by Dr. Eli Somer, Professor emeritus of clinical psychology University of Haifa in Israel.

Dr. Somer’s initial patients were often survivors of childhood trauma who developed the capacity to become absorbed in their minds to get away from the pains of their upbringings.

Somer mentioned in a Youtube video that maladaptive daydreams are often so vivid and include such elaborate and fantastical storylines, often involving repetitive physical movement and exposure to evocative music.

He goes on to explain that “normal” daydreaming does not compromise reality and is not distressing — it is a gift to enjoy. It only becomes abnormal when it’s so enticing that patients prefer the daydreams over real life — often at the expense of their mental health.

Like alcohol and substance abuse, MD poses a threatening addictive quality. Excessive daydreamers uncontrollably crave reveries to the point that their emotional distress explodes and multiplies, damaging their productivity and interfering with their ability to function.

MD seriously harms one’s concentration and can disrupt their work, studies, social life and human interactions.

MD is sometimes dismissed by doctors as a non-pathological habit or misdiagnosed as psychotic hallucinations. Psychologists have also likened it symptoms with ADD, OCD, depression, disassociation and social anxiety. There’s currently no “nail-on-the-head” cure for MD, but counseling for similar conditions may be applied to treat maladaptive daydreamers. Some suggest avoiding triggers such as soothing music as well as being alone.

These daydreamers are often struck with confusion, especially when unconsciously acting out their trances in public.

While this mental compulsion may sound fascinating on the surface, it is no laughing matter for victims and their loved ones.

Fortunately, this dreamy disorder is on its way to becoming well known and victims may soon get the help they need and deserve.

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Small Steps, Big Changes

We all tend to overcomplicate what it really means to take care of ourselves. The key isn’t to completely overhaul your life in a day. That is just not sustainable. Our goal should be to make small changes over time.

As you begin to practice these small changes over the days, weeks and months, they really add up and can make a huge difference in your life.

Get Organized

I’m not saying that you have to go declutter your entire house or organize your entire life — that isn’t a small change. Instead, I recommend you spend just five minutes a day simplifying. Go through your purse or your wallet and see if there’s anything in there that you don’t need.

Another day, go through your phone and see if there are any apps in there that you haven’t used in months or a year. Maybe another day you can look at your email inbox to see if there are any folders that you need to add or remove to create a more refined organization system.

The process of organizing your life by decluttering and simplifying and then creating systems that work for you can feel really overwhelming and it’s a big and challenging task. But if you divide day by day into small bite size chunks, it really can transform your life and allow you to live with more purpose and intention.

Set a timer for five minutes each day and see how much you can get done in that amount of time.

Give Your Eyes a Break

These days we spend so much of our lives looking at screens. Whether it is a phone, tablet or computer or TV, the time really adds up and can cause a wide range of side effects. Anything from dry eyes, to headaches, to tension and blurred vision.

Fortunately, there is something really small and easy that we can do to help prevent this. It’s called the “rule of 20” — the basic idea is that after you’ve been staring at a screen for 20 minutes, you should look away and focus on something 20 feet away for 20 seconds. That change of focus can create a “reset” in your brain. Studies have shown that it can help prevent some of those side effects.

Slow Down

There can be a big temptation for a lot of us to always be filling up our schedules with something and to constantly be busy. We spend our days going, going, going and it can be easy for us to lose our sense of enjoyment in life. It’s so important that we learn to check in with ourselves and recognize when we’re feeling stressed, worn out, or simply tired.

When you recognize yourself feeling like this, slow down and find out what your body needs in that moment. You can take deep breaths, unclench your jaw, roll out your wrists, and massage any sore muscles.

The key is to become more aware of when we need to slow down and to identify what’s going to help us. Try checking in with yourself more so can slow down in those small moments throughout the day.

Drink Enough Water

It is just a fact of life that we need enough liquids in our body to keep things functioning smoothly. When we aren’t drinking enough water throughout the day, it could lead to a lack of concentration, low blood pressure, dizziness, constipation and the list goes on…

Experts say that the amount of water you need varies from person to person. One way to do this is to let thirst be your guide. In other words, if you’re thirsty, you should drink more water. Make sure you slow down and check in with yourself throughout the day and figure out if you’re thirsty and if you need to drink some water. It just requires a little intentionality and mindfulness on our part.

Get Outdoors

During the past 12 months, most of us have spent more time indoors than we had ever planned to. Getting outdoors and being in nature is one of the most underrated things that we can do for our mental, physical and emotional health.

When we are outside, especially if we are moving, it helps to boost our mood, it sharpens our thinking and it can help us feel more calm and relaxed. When we’re outdoors, it helps put everything in perspective for us. Our big problems don’t seem quite as big and unmanageable anymore.

Stretch It Out

When we’re stressed, or even just sitting in one position for very long, our bodies tend to tighten up. It’s really important that we take time each day to stretch out our muscles and release any built up tension. It’s a good practice to set a few minutes to do some stretching at the beginning or end of your day.

Stretching has been shown to have a calming effect on the body and the mind. It can help you relax and reduce pain, as well as help prevent any tension headaches from occurring.

You can make big changes in your life with one small step at a time.

The Lighter Life

A little over two years ago I walked 184 miles across the north of Spain with everything I needed in a 12 lb. backpack. In fact, I realized I had overpacked. It was, however, the most meaningful trip I’ve ever taken. Mostly because, when it came to material things, all I had was all I needed. I was forced to appreciate the scenery and history and energy around me.

When I returned home and saw how much stuff I had, it raised the question; are our possessions distracting us from our values? It became clear that I needed to adjust my goals and make changes in my life. I decided to practice minimalism.

We live in a world where we are focused on materialistic goods. The average american household has about 300,000 items in it — and most of us aren’t hoarders.

The average person sees 500 advertisements a day which is over a million or so a year and we are being told lies that exploit us to sell us something. We’re being told that we are lacking. We’re being told to improve that which doesn’t need improvement and hypnotized into seeing ourselves as incomplete.

We have become a society seduced by materialism, addicted to acquiring heaps of meaningless stuff. We must learn to stave off the tug of consumerism and get organized.

Some reports indicate that we consume twice as many material goods today as we did 50 years ago.

It’s important to understand that being minimalist doesn’t mean you have to have less than 100 belongings, wear only black and white, get rid of your car and live miserably. Minimalist living simply means we are not defined by our stuff. Nor do our belongings control our satisfaction with life and overall happiness. It’s about living a lighter life.

Just to be clear, I like stuff but I decided to incorporate a lot of minimalism in my life and embrace frugality. It was hard to keep my stuff in order when I had too many things. When I’m working towards a goal, frugality isn’t about what I’m giving up, it’s about what I’m going to gain. I want to live a life I’m passionate about.

When the choice is between buying something I probably don’t need or living a life that will bring me fulfillment every day, that choice becomes very easy.

Being dangerously close to 60 years of age at the time, certainly not at the “beginning” of my life, I decided to do an exercise where I wrote my life story as I’d like it to read at a very advanced age — like 95. The most profound epiphany this exercise revealed to me is that no one will care how I lived my life except for me. I don’t mean that no one will care — in fact, I think a lot of people will care! My family, namely, and everyone I impact: my friends, colleagues, community and more. These people will care because I’ve been a major presence in their lives. But no one else really cares. I’m not a massively public figure so I have to live for me and for those closest to me.

It’s time to get back to the basics of what’s truly important in our lives. Life can be so freeing when you focus on what really matters.

Figuring out what you want to do with your life doesn’t need to happen at the traditional “beginning” of your life. Of you’re reading this, you’re not dead yet! So why act like your life is over? It’s not!

Why live a life you’re not passionate about, whether for the next fifty years or the next five?

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Being Cheap Makes Life Rich

A lot of us were scared last March when we were all forced to grind to a halt. Incomes dried up and many found themselves carefully meal planning to make ends meet.

Interestingly enough, many are still meal planning down to the last spinach leaf. Not because they have to, but because they like it. They like that the grocery bill is half what it used to be. They like that they rarely throw food away anymore. They like the nightly walks and the little nest egg piling up as they put out less.

The pressure to embrace frugality has been building: It takes more than $230,000 to raise one child to age 18 (not including college), while wages have remained largely stagnant — not to mention disproportionately low for the many millennials trying to be adults while burdened with student debt.

Add to that the painful reality that participating in our disposable economy results in filling landfills and oceans with yesterday’s fast fashion and plastic toys, causing a global threat.

Now most people tend to say that as long as they bring in enough to cover the bills, being frugal feels healthy, like they’re taking care of themselves.

The question is: Will this way of life stick?

Experts say it can but we have to shift our mindset about spending, saving, and what really makes us feel good.

Saving isn’t self-denial — it’s self care

Many single moms were caught with almost no savings and no income, bills coming in, and kids relying on them. They had to watch every expense, figure out how to get a forbearance on their mortgage, and find food that would stretch the farthest. They now have the skills to build a buffer that will make their future much easier and less stressful.

Spendy doesn’t equal special

We took for granted that we paid for experiences, particularly special ones — family outings, date nights, birthdays. But we’ve recently discovered that dining out doesn’t compare to our Taco Night at home.

Many have realized that shopping locally from small-business websites is a richer, more satisfying experience. This is especially true when taking into consideration that some local small businesses might not survive.

The pandemic made it clear for the first time just how inter-connected we are to that coffee shop or little cafe down the street.

Let’s keep in mind that, in the process of reusing and sharing, we reduce the amount of waste in landfills.

Most of us spent our lives working so hard in order to pay for the car, the house, the stuff — and we never had time to do what really mattered to us.

Whatever we do, I hope we don’t lose the progress we’ve made toward understanding what being truly rich feels like — Annie Raser-Rowland

Thinking Beyond The Tap

How many times have we been told as children and adults how important water is for our health? I’ll admit I’ve never been a fan of water and getting my daily 11.5 glasses seems like more than a tall order.

Our adult bodies are made up of approximately 60% of water. Babies and kids have a higher percentage of water in their bodies, while females have less percentage water content than males. They recommend (2.7 liters (over 11 cups) of fluids a day for the average woman and 3.7 liters (almost 16 cups) for men. This may seem like a lot of daily water intake but our bodies need it. Since the cells in our bodies are filled with water, important nutrients and minerals are able to be utilized in complex biological and chemical reactions.

In fact, water is the most important substance to all living things and we sometimes take access to clean water for granted. Can you imagine not being able to have clean water available to drink so our bodies can function properly?

Most of the time I will drink water when I feel thirsty. As it turns out, thirst is a late indicator of dehydration. If you’re parched, it’s possible your body has already lost 1 to 2 percent of its water content — hindering physical and mental function. Rather then waiting for thirst to set in, I should watch for early clues of dehydration, including headache, fatigue, decreased exercise performance, dizziness, and hunger.

Not drinking enough water can result in irritability and even anxiety.

Studies show that a lack of liquid can impair cognitive performance, which could interfere with memory, mental energy and focus.

Produce hydrates better than water.

A lot of water-rich fruits and vegetables (grapefruit, cucumbers, lettuce, celery) can hydrate effectively because of their electrolytes. So four to five servings a day can give you about 18 percent of your daily fluid needs; hit nine servings and you could get 40 percent.

Turns out water is not the most hydrating beverage.

A study in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition revealed some surprising facts. They found milk really does do the body good. Full-fat milk, skim milk, and even orange juice hydrate better than water, since they contain electrolytes that help maintain fluid balances in the body. The study also noted that in terms of hydration potential, water is no different from beer or soda. I’ll drink to that!

Spiritual Electricity

There is a lot of talk these days about becoming the absolute best version of ourselves. This is not an easy task. While it is a pleasurable pursuit and it is the reason we were born, it requires much patience, persistence, and perseverance.

You don’t just happen to stumble upon the best version of yourself. There is no miraculous shortcut. You need to start from the beginning and take a high number of small steps in order to become what you envision.

You must make sure that you’re moving in the right general direction. You probably don’t have the knowledge you need today to know the shortest path to your happiness five years from today. But you probably have some idea about how to move in the right direction and take those steps. 

Since i’ve been writing on Medium, I’ve found that translating my thoughts into written narratives pushes me to think about the ideas in my head at a much deeper level.

For many of us it requires prayer, meditation, incantation and other forms. That’s because we find it far easier to learn to live by our own lights when we access a Higher Source of Power to illuminate the path. 

I have found this to be true in my own journey. Usually I limited the times I requested that the Power be turned on to the occasions when I was appearing in public: speaking at a meeting, giving a listing presentation or holding a business meeting. But then it occured to me that this was like living in a house with electricity but turning on the lights only for a couple of hours every few weeks. 

And I wondered why I was always bumping into obstacles!

So I started to ask for the power to be turned on a daily basis; as a businesswoman, a writer, a daughter and a friend. When I asked, it was turned on. When I didn’t, I stayed in the dark. Well it doesn’t take a master electrician to figure out what’s going on here: someone has to turn on the switch!

I soon learned that asking is the way of activating spiritual electricity. When there is Light we see remarkably well. We see with clarity.

I think the trick is not to try to remake ourselves into something we’re not. Just make the best of what the Higher Source made. 

Begin today by turning it on and be out there with your light. 

Cup of Joe...Friend or Foe?

Having been a coffee lover for most of my life, it didn’t surprise me to find out that caffeine is, by far, the world’s most common and widely used psychoactive drug. In fact, it is one of the most valuable legally traded commodities in the world. We can say that it is a worldwide phenomenon. 

Just about every culture has its own traditional way of preparing coffee, and most countries now contain large coffee brands.

Coffee’s early beginnings are rich in lore. There is an Ethiopian legend that describes how coffee was discovered by a goat herder who noticed his goats were unable to sleep at night after eating a particular type of berry. The use of “coffee berries” spread quickly by merchants and travelers to throughout the Arabian peninsula. There, it became popular in social settings at coffee houses, where people gathered to listen to music, play chess and exchange news.

Coffee houses all over Europe were called “penny universities” because anyone could grab a cup of coffee for a penny and engage in stimulating conversation.

Over here in the New World, coffee didn’t fully catch on until the Boston Tea Party. Disillusioned colonists saw taking tea out of their daily diet and replacing it with coffee as their patriotic duty, part of an overall rejection rejection of all things British.

Later in American history, coffee was used to raise moral in the Civil War. It provided soldiers with an energy boost to battle and the strength to carry on afterwards.

Now this drink is widely used by the majority of Americans to wake up and go to their nine to five jobs.

Caffeine works by blocking the adenosine receptors, speeding up nerve activity, and keeping the drinker alert for a few hours. Extra adenosine begins to build up in the brain, serving as a signal to the adrenal glands to produce adrenaline, another stimulant. In additional to this, the brain’s natural stimulants like dopamine work more effectively when the adenosine receptors are blocked, boosting the feeling of alertness. This cocktail of chemicals in the brain effectively keeps a person awake and alert, sometimes to the point of anxiety. 

With consistent use, caffeine can negatively affect our cardiovascular system, increase blood pressure and heart rate, as well as occasional arrhythmia. 

The global love-affair with coffee has also led to extensive environmental consequences. From the beginning, certain types of bean growing have been destructive to the surrounding ecosystem. The large amounts of land and sunlight that coffee growing requires has resulted in the clearing out of forests, which has also contributed to the decrease of biodiversity and increase in erosion and soil degradation. Helpful plants, insects, and other animal species are driven out by coffee growing techniques and, consequently, the need for pesticides increases.

Once coffee has made it to the grocery store in into our homes, there are countless more consequences. Whether it be the coffee grounds or plastic cups and packaging, the waste associated with making coffee that ends up in landfills takes a long time to break down. 

Every step of the way, the environmental consequences of a mere cup of Joe are immense.

No matter what type of coffee you enjoy — whether it be a cortadito or caramel macchiato and despite its simultaneously rich and bitter past, drinking a steaming cup of freshly brewed coffee is certainly a great way to connect with friends and start your day.

Salud!