The Benefits of an Edited Life

 

The more stuff we have, the happier we are, right? I certainly haven’t found that to be true.

Would it surprise you to know that Americans live in about 3 times the amount of space we lived in 50 years ago? You would think that with all this extra space we would have plenty of room for all our stuff, right?

Consider the $22 billion dollar, 2.2 billion square foot industry of extra storage space. So we have triple the space and we’ve become such good shoppers that we need even more space.

So where does this lead? Lots of credit card debt and a huge environmental footprint. It’s not surprising that our happiness levels have flatlined over the last 50 years.

There has to be a better way. A way where less equals more.

Most of us have experienced the joys of living with less. College — your dorm room, travelling — a hotel room, camping- where you had basically nothing. Whatever it was for you, I bet you it gave you a little more freedom, a little more time.

So can we say that a little less space and less stuff are going to equal a smaller footprint. It’s actually a great way to save some money and it just may give you more ease in your life. A smaller space will allow us to buy or rent it for less. We save money on utilities and also a smaller footprint.

So how can we “live little’?

The first step is to edit ruthlessly. We’ve got to “clear the arteries” of our lives. That shirt that you haven’t worn in a year? You’ve got to let it go. We need to think before we buy. We have to think “is that really going to make me happier, truly?” By all means, we should buy and own some great stuff. But we want stuff that we’re going to have for years. Not just stuff.

Second step, think ‘small is sexy’. We want things that are designed for how they are used the vast majority of the time and not just that rare event. For example; why have a six burner stove when you rarely use three?

We want things that nest and things that stack. We want to digitize paperwork, books and movies and make them disappear. It’s magic!

Finally, we want multifunctional spaces and housewares. I’m not saying that we all need to live in an average of 400 square feet but consider the benefits of an edited life. Go from 3,000 sf to 2,000 sf; from 1,500 sf to 1,000 sf. Most of us are pretty happy when we are living in a hotel room with a couple of bags.

So when you go home and walk through the front door, ask yourself if you could do with a little life editing. Would that give you a little more freedom, maybe a little more time? Maybe, just maybe, less might equal more.

So let’s make room for the good stuff.

An Idea (by Ingenious Piece)

Everything Begins With An Idea

My Daily Dose of Destiny

 

I get that, for most of us, rational thinking is considered deeply important. When I say “rational” thinking, it depends upon the definition one uses for rational- does it need to be completely provable or factual? Very often I laugh warmly when hearing about the “unscientific” aspects of Tarot.

Tarot has been used since at least the Renaissance. Using cards for playful divination goes back to the 14th century, likely originating with Mamluk game cards brought to Western Europe from Turkey. By the 1500s, the Italian aristocracy was enjoying a game known as “tarocchi appropriati,” in which players were dealt random cards and used thematic associations with these cards to write poetic verses about one another. These predictive cards were referred to as “sortes,” meaning destinies or lots.

I believe that tarots are accurate representations of answers that make sense to each of us. To eliminate a myth; tarot card readers don’t foresee the future; they can only interpret the meaning of the cards that one has ‘selected’. Tarots cannot give exact answers about particular incidents (except for yes/no questions). It reflects what your subconscious already knows.

The philosophy used to interpret the tarot cards — called Semiotics, refers to the study of signs and symbols and their usage and interpretations. Using semiotics in interpreting tarot cards reveals to us our feelings, and thoughts that are unable to take form in our conscious self. Each card has a specific symbol that attaches with itself a specific explanation. People attach intrinsic meaning with the specific cards drawn that helps answer their own questions, using their own subconscious mind. It is a way of projecting one’s own unconscious knowledge into a card.

To most outsiders and skeptics, so called “occult” practices like card reading have little significance in our modern world. But a closer look at these miniature masterpieces reveals that the power of these cards isn’t rendered from some mystical source — it comes from the ability of their small, static images to illuminate our most complex dilemmas and desires.

I’m sure not everyone wants to hear this, but the probability of picking a random card from a deck of 78 is one out of 78. However, it happens multiple times that one card gets singled out so much that it changes the probability of the random event, despite being reshuffled. It might be regarded as a coincidence but does probability have coincidences? We can say it is mystical involvement, or explain it spiritually.

Some believe that tarot is less about magic and more about explaining the psychology of human beings. Tarot Readers believe in the vibration of our neurons and synapses. They also believe that our brain already knows everything and just needs divine guidance to follow through with events. Tarot cards help to attune us spiritually with the surroundings to help us come across answers to our own questions.

Let’s face it, we all have our days (or weeks or months) where a measly horoscope just won’t cut it — we need some insight into what lies ahead for us. So we may go to Youtube and see what the tarot reading luminaries have to say about out future. Depending on your preferences, a “tarotscope” could very well replace your regular horoscope. Depending on the reader, tarot readings can offer a highly detailed look at what awaits you. There are thousands of readers to choose from.

Of course you have to keep an open mind and understand that these are general readings based on astrological signs and most of the readers have thousands of subscribers. This means that some of the messages may or may not be for you. It imperative, however, that you use your common sense when making any decision in your life and do what feels right for you.

You might believe in energy, or use it as entertainment, but for me, tarots are fun and quite informative. As for me, I thoroughly enjoy getting my daily dose of destiny under my sign. So skeptics and believers, get a reading done, and believe …or have good laugh.

Self Care Vs. Self Love - One Size DOESN'T Fit All

 

We all need a little time to care for ourselves these days. So many of us are working more than one job to make ends meet or to support our passions. Self-care is important to feeling renewed and, admittedly, what gets me through the day sometimes during days of stress and anxiety. Come home from work, cleanse my face to “take the day off” and read in bed? Yes, that’s the life!

If I were to define self-care, it would be the act of taking care of myself physically and mentally. It’s making sure I’m getting the time I need to feel at peace. It’s the self-awareness that I need time to myself to grow or develop in any way. Yes, this can be going to a Yin Yoga class or reading an article that makes me happy (like this one, you’re welcome!)because I know I’m going to feel relaxed tomorrow morning. Same goes for having my hair and/or my nails done.

Self-love, on the other hand, is more about cultivating gratitude and acceptance toward myself, physically and emotionally. This can mean talking to myself in a positive manner, getting rid of my scale, or ditching my compassion mindset (this is easier said than done!). I’ve learned that self-love means loving myself unapologetically while self-care is about taking the time to feel good in my skin.

There’s no doubt the two are different and, at the same time, both necessary to a healthy, fulfilled lifestyle. Self-care allows me to maintain a healthy relationship with myself rather than beating myself up about small stuff. Practicing self-care has helped me refocus my brain, just as meditation would.

I’ve seen that the most successful people have confidence. Self-love is a way I can achieve that confidence. And that starts with loving myself.

All that being said, there’s no way I’m going to have time to love myself and indulge in self-care every day of my life. And thinking that’s feasible will most certainly set me up for failure. What is important is that I make efforts to incorporate these things into my daily life. I’ve found that little moments of self-care throughout my day work better for me than a full night of pampering.

When it comes to self-care and self-love, one size doesn’t fit all. Not everyone feels relaxed after a massage or meditation. Just as not everyone finds confidence from the same sources. What’s important is that you spend the time discovering what works for you and makes a difference in your day. It’s nowhere near a cure-all for anxiety or depression but, when I add it to my routine it reduces stress and slows down my life. And that makes me feel good.

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My First Post Pan Travel

One of my big disappointments during the “Corona Era” has been the restrictions on travel. I’ve managed to get away on a few selective driving trips but certainly not anywhere close to the dream destinations I had in mind for 2020. This has been a tough year for my incurable wanderlust condition.

When I was offered a chance to attend a retreat in the Blue Ridge Mountains with hiking and meditation on the Appalachian Trail, I didn’t hesitate to make my reservation. The fresh air appeal propelled me even more. Under pre-corona circumstances, I would have flown to Asheville and driven into the remote mountain location. Due to the circumstances, my friend and I planned on driving the 12 hours to get there. But it seems the Universe had other plans for us. The rental was canceled at the last minute and provided a refund that more than covered our flights.

This was our first flight after COVID. I couldn’t help thinking this was some kind of milestone — like I had survived something big — of global proportions actually.

To my great surprise, the flight was totally full. Zero social distancing there. This was a contrast to how the airport looked — a complete ghost town. Depressing by my standards. Where I once referred to the TSA as Thousands Standing Around, it was now more like Tens Standing Around.

Walking through the airport with everyone wearing a mask — not being able to see anyone’s true expression was another reminder that we are all going through something big. Wearing a mask is impersonal, impossible to breathe well, but nevertheless important. We are standing at the gate of a new beginning.

Masks should have always and probably always will be required on airplanes. The concept of more than 100 people traveling thousands of feet in the air inside a cylinder has to be a health risk. Pandemic or not.

A Swiss-based information technology provider states that in 10 years your face could be your airplane ticket. Biometric software installed in terminal video cameras will recognize and match your features to your flight while assessing your security and health risks. This will allow most travelers to stroll unimpeded from check-in to gate.

Germophobic fliers may have the option to pay extra for “Hygiene Class,” a premium cabin that comes with a higher standard of cleanliness. These higher-priced seats will come with more frequent sanitization and scented sprays.

The UV coating used on American Way magazines is treated with Biomaster, a process that prevents the growth of unwanted organisms and demonstrates a 99.99% reduction in microbes in independent lab testing. It’s just one of the steps American Airlines is taking to ensure your health and safety while flying with them.

The impact of the Coronavirus crisis will extend well beyond the concerns for humanity’s physical health. The aftermath is already having and will continue to have severe economic implications. This may leave many travelers strapped for cash and unable to afford the international adventures of pre-pandemic times.

Nevertheless, people will still want to travel — myself included. While personal budgets may tighten, the desire to get out and explore will only ramp up, especially after thrill-seekers and adventure junkies like me have been released from lockdown.

I would expect more people to tour around their home countries, supporting local economies, and exploring their own cities and states. 

Acceptance is Transformation

 

What comes to mind when the word “acceptance” is mentioned? You know it’s important, but do you know what it really means?

Acceptance is a willful and courageous action. It’s not a fleeting thought. It’s a hard commitment.

Acceptance — a person’s assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing its process, condition or circumstances.

Acceptance has been a key to happiness since Buddhism was born.

There is a movement in psychology resonating with the positive and focusing on gratitude. People are improving their quality of life as a result of this movement.

Some treatments provide training in mindfulness: an awareness of the present moment without judgement.

It was not surprising to find out that acceptance has been a cornerstone of the 12 Step treatment for alcoholism since the first “Alcoholics Anonymous” book was written in 1939. Doctor Paul Ohliger wrote a passage on how acceptance leads to being happier and sober. By the third edition, the passage was famously known in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous as “page 449”:

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation, some fact of my life unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could no stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.

Acceptance helps reduce what people experience as negative, desiring the world to be something it is not at the moment is stopped, and ruminating thoughts about how things “should be” are put aside. Then, you can change what can be changed.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change” — The Serenity Prayer

People often do not notice how much positive is in their lives. As such, a movement in the psychology of happiness is to look for what one is grateful for.

When you truly accept something you go through a transformation. The structures of your brain literally change. New neurons and networks are formed; you literally physically transform. We humans are powerful beings in this sense. That’s pretty cool.

Studies show slowing down, being mindful, and experiencing and expressing gratitude works. By doing it and focusing on it, neuroscience demonstrates new neural connections are made and strengthened. This makes it more likely to occur in the future.

As neuropsychologists are fond of saying, “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” Over time, you’ll find yourself happier, calmer, and experiencing more joy. It’s just simple science.

We simply need to stop, look, and then go in order to see all of what we have to be grateful for. This all relates to slowing down and appreciating the enjoyable moments, rather than running from one thing to the next.

Think for a minute about what you are grateful for. Slow your life down, and appreciate all that you have. Even in the worst scenarios, there can be gratitude. A rain shower. A sunset. The taste of your favorite food. Good conversation. Love of family. That feeling when you first lay down in bed after an exhausting day. The list goes on and on.

It’s time to make your own list…and transformation.

The Magic Art of Romancing

 

I find “romance” to be an elusive word. While “romancing” is the process or result of embellishing something into a romantic ideal.

When I see the word “Romancing”, it makes me think of the 1984 movie, “Romancing the Stone” With Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito. A lonely writer of romance novels finds herself living an adventure that outstrips her wildest fantasies when she travels to Colombia in search of her kidnapped sister. The film combines outlandish adventure with an affecting love story, as Turner’s character reluctantly solicits the help of a roguish American smuggler, played by Michael Douglas.

The phrase “Romancing the Stone” is actually jewelers’ jargon, referring to a step in preparing a gem for use in jewelry.

Remember that moment you first fell in love? Something clicked with that special someone, and suddenly you wanted to know everything about them — their interests became your interests, and you were willing to do just about anything to get a few extra minutes together.

But there were probably also a few times when that chemistry wasn’t there. Maybe you wanted to like the person. Maybe they had a lot to offer. Maybe they really tried to make you feel special. But it just wasn’t right — and you knew it.

First impressions matter when you’re looking for romance, and they matter in business too. The first few interactions your customers have with your brand will dictate how the relationship plays out. If you make them feel special and serve them well, they will become loyal fans and brand ambassadors .

As with any good relationship, there is a balance of give and take.

The same is true in business. Sometimes the magic just isn’t there, and the customer drifts away. When you push for a sale without investing in the customer relationship, you won’t achieve the long-term relationship you’re hoping for. Sure, you might land a sale or two, but those customers won’t become loyal fans because they haven’t found that special something they’re looking for. That something that solves all their problems, builds trust, and earns loyalty.

As I researched this term, I found a plethora of uses for the word “romancing”. From art shows to music and even cookbooks.

In her cookbook, Romancing the Bean, Joanne Saltzman explains the magic character of the different kinds of beans and how to cook them so that they are easily digestible and seductively delicious. As a protein source, beans definitely command respect.

Romancing the Bean is also the name of a charming coffeehouse cafe in Tempeh, AZ. The dedicated staff rises with the sun to ensure that your experience in the quaint cafe is a charmed one.

In his book, “Romancing the Self”, Tim Blanning argues that the Romantic Revolution had more impact on the world than the American, the French, the Industrial, or the Agricultural Revolution.

And as for the cities — when I think of romantic cities, I think of New York, Paris and Venice. But what makes these cities so romantic?

Kaid Benfield, on NRDC’s Switchboard blog, came up with a list of what these romantic cities have in common:

• Strong sense of place anchored by historic preservation
• Lively, walkable, diverse downtowns
• Compact development patterns
• Extensive and well-used public transportation
• Great public spaces for lively human interaction
• Parks and quiet places mixed in with urbanity
• Great traditional neighborhoods with a strong sense of community
• Welcoming to people of diverse culture

Walking hand-in-hand through downtown sounds romantic to me. Benfield agrees. “People fall in love with these cities, and in them, in part because they are so conducive to nourishing the human spirit.”

The characteristics of these cities aren’t just great for lovers, they increase human interaction, so they’re great for singles as well.

Try visiting the neighborhood in your city that has the most in common with this list.

Let me know whether you felt the magic.