Acceptance is Transformation

 

What comes to mind when the word “acceptance” is mentioned? You know it’s important, but do you know what it really means?

Acceptance is a willful and courageous action. It’s not a fleeting thought. It’s a hard commitment.

Acceptance — a person’s assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing its process, condition or circumstances.

Acceptance has been a key to happiness since Buddhism was born.

There is a movement in psychology resonating with the positive and focusing on gratitude. People are improving their quality of life as a result of this movement.

Some treatments provide training in mindfulness: an awareness of the present moment without judgement.

It was not surprising to find out that acceptance has been a cornerstone of the 12 Step treatment for alcoholism since the first “Alcoholics Anonymous” book was written in 1939. Doctor Paul Ohliger wrote a passage on how acceptance leads to being happier and sober. By the third edition, the passage was famously known in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous as “page 449”:

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation, some fact of my life unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could no stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.

Acceptance helps reduce what people experience as negative, desiring the world to be something it is not at the moment is stopped, and ruminating thoughts about how things “should be” are put aside. Then, you can change what can be changed.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change” — The Serenity Prayer

People often do not notice how much positive is in their lives. As such, a movement in the psychology of happiness is to look for what one is grateful for.

When you truly accept something you go through a transformation. The structures of your brain literally change. New neurons and networks are formed; you literally physically transform. We humans are powerful beings in this sense. That’s pretty cool.

Studies show slowing down, being mindful, and experiencing and expressing gratitude works. By doing it and focusing on it, neuroscience demonstrates new neural connections are made and strengthened. This makes it more likely to occur in the future.

As neuropsychologists are fond of saying, “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” Over time, you’ll find yourself happier, calmer, and experiencing more joy. It’s just simple science.

We simply need to stop, look, and then go in order to see all of what we have to be grateful for. This all relates to slowing down and appreciating the enjoyable moments, rather than running from one thing to the next.

Think for a minute about what you are grateful for. Slow your life down, and appreciate all that you have. Even in the worst scenarios, there can be gratitude. A rain shower. A sunset. The taste of your favorite food. Good conversation. Love of family. That feeling when you first lay down in bed after an exhausting day. The list goes on and on.

It’s time to make your own list…and transformation.