Look Up and Consider the Fantastical

 

The grimacing, grinning, mischievous creatures perched close to Heaven that invite us and dare us…

I have very vivid childhood memories of walking the streets of New York and ogling at the stone creatures on tops of churches, cathedrals and other buildings. Most people only think of them as statues. To me, they were really alive with their own personalities.

I later learned that Gargoyles look like all kinds of creatures, including animals, dragons and strange, imaginary monsters. Some gargoyles are even made to look like humans.

So what is a gargoyle? Gargoyles are simply water spouts that direct water away from a building.

In architecture, more specifically in Gothic architecture which is made to draw your eyes up, a gargoyle is a carved creature with a spout designed to channel water from a roof and away from the side of a building, preventing rainwater from running down masonry walls and eroding the mortar in between. Architects often used multiple gargoyles on a building to divide the flow of rainwater off the roof to minimize the potential damage from a rainstorm.

A groove is cut in the back of the gargoyle and rainwater typically exits through the open mouth. How far the water is directed from the wall determines the elongated fantastical animal look of the gargoyle. You can think of them as glorified gutters.

The term gargoyle most often applies to medieval work. In ancient Egyptian architecture, gargoyles showed little variation — most were in the form of a lion’s head. Similar lion-mouthed water spouts were also seen on Greek temples. An example of this are the 39 remaining lion-headed water spouts on the Temple of Zeus.

In my travels as an adult, I am still fascinated by those brooding creatures perched high above the cities and villages of the world. In fact, there is much symbolism in the sculpture of the Gothic period.

There is a belief that gargoyles were placed on buildings to ward off evil, as well as represent the evil in the world. In the spiritual realm, they are protectors. They are believed to ward off evil spirits, demons and the devil. They are said to be cursed as statues during the day, and come alive at night.

There are those who truly believe in them. They will show themselves to people, even more so children. They will literally sit, and watch children to make sure that no harm comes to them. You can call on a gargoyle at any point in time. You do not even need a ritual, as they are always standing ready to be asked for. You can think of them as monstrous angels.The oldest gargoyle-like creation is a 13,000-year-old stone crocodile discovered in Turkey.

The world’s most famous gargoyles, and the ones that most influenced the popular wings-and-horns image of the creatures, are on Paris’s Notre Dame Cathedral.

If you can’t make it to Paris just yet, I understand Pittsburg, PA is a hotbed for gargoyles. More than 20 authentic gargoyles are featured throughout the city. If you travel to Pittsburg, make sure to check out the “Downtown Dragons” tour run by the History and Landmarks Foundation.

Art Deco gargoyles can be seen stop the 1930 Chrysler Building, a well-known skyscraper in New York City and one of my first sightings of a gargoyle.

Gargoyles can also be found on American Gothic Revival buildings such as the National Cathedral in Washington, D.C..

So look up and consider the fantastical, consider the appeal of things which we cannot fully understand today. Things that will ultimately have an explanation. Even if they don’t, enjoy them just for the pleasure or the intrigue they convey.

How to Eliminate Hurry from Your Everyday Life

 

Why having more time won’t make us less busy…

In his book “The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry” , author John Mark Comer points out that it has become so normal for us to rush from task to task constantly that often we don’t even notice that we’re doing it or consider that life could be different. But what is wrong with being busy?

There is a cost to your physical and emotional well being.

“Hurry is not of the devil; hurry is the devil” Carl Jung

Instead of having peaceful time for devotion and nurturing our faith, we’re busy scrolling social media or frantically answering emails. Instead of spending Sundays relaxing with friends or loved ones, we’re running like headless chickens from one obligation to another.

When you’re running late and trying to hurry out the door, chances are you are irritable and snappish. That is definitely not a loving state.

Slowness allows us the time we need to relish our relationships, contemplate our actions, and connect with our spiritual mentors.

Next time you’re sitting around a table laughing with your family, and your phone pings with another “urgent” email, recognize the interruption for what it really is. It is not only taking you away from your gathering but also from your spiritual life. And it can wait for later.

New technologies have altered how we think about time and made us busier;

Before clocks, the only way you could figure out the time was to look at the position of the sun in the sky. Ironically enough, the mechanical clock was invented by monks who wanted a reliable way to call people to prayer at set times.

The invention of the light bulb by Thomas Edison in 1879 allowed people to have homes that were brilliantly illuminated after the sun went down. This had direct consequences for how much people rested and slept.

Before the light bulb was invented, the average American slept for 11 hours a night, now they only sleep for seven. It’s no wonder they’re chronically exhausted!

Instead of travelling by horseback, we can cover a hundred kilometers in an hour behind the wheel of a car.

We can warm our homes just by turning up the thermostat on our smartphones.

A recent study featured in Business Insider reported that the average iPhone user touches their phone no less than 2,617 time per day!

Other than a radical escape to an alternative community living off the grid, there is no going back to a life without artificial light, clocks, or smartphones.

Maybe getting lost once in a while isn’t such a bad thing. After all, wandering aimlessly around can also give us valuable time to think.

We live in a FOMO (fear of missing out) society. We try to do everything, see every movie, hear every podcast, travel to every country. Yet we are human, with built-in limitations that restrict what we’ll be able to do in our lives.

To change our busy, chaotic lives, we don’t need more time. We need to commit the limited time we have to focus on doing the things that we are able to do and are most important to us.

Dwelling on our limitations is not necessarily negative. In fact, being realistic about things which limit what we can do is very empowering. It can take away some of the pressure of trying to do everything and be everywhere. It can push us to make more conscious choices about what we really want to do with our lives, within the limitations we have.

Time isn’t infinite, so we’d better make the most of it.

“Life is a series of choices. Every yes is a thousand nos” John Mark Comer — The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry

In the past, moments of quiet contemplation were built into our lives. Waiting in line, staring out a bus window, we had time to hear ourselves think. That kind of solitude (which some may call boredom) has become extinct, as most of us spend these moments checking our smartphone notifications.

We are in need of both silence and solitude to lead emotionally healthy lives. You don’t need to climb a mountain to get some time alone. Simply get up an hour earlier than the rest of your household and enjoy a cup of coffee in your favorite chair. Take out your headphones and leave the podcasts aside. You may soon realize that solitude is anything but lonely. It allows for connection to ourselves and our world.

Take a day off every week to rest. A few decades ago, Americans would wake up on a Sunday to a quiet world. All the stores were closed, as were the businesses. You could spend time with your family and friends. Visit a local park or go to church. Have a snooze on the couch. Cook a meal.

As society has become more commercially oriented, this time for rest has been eroded. We now carry around our offices on our phones, and work has leaked into every corner of our lives. We have forgotten how to rest.

There are so many simple-and free- pleasures available if we just take the time to appreciate them. Savor a cup of coffee in the morning. A bike ride. A chat with an old friend. A trip to the park. Instead of treating your commute as a stressful race, you could see it as time to be with yourself, allowing your thoughts free rein, and processing your day.

Living intentionally and paying attention to what you do can give you lots of time — and even more important, peace of mind.

Easy Ways to Overcome Your Fear of Technology

 

The longer you avoid it, the worse your apprehensions will get….

There is no escaping technology these days. It’s all around us. Working with people and techie things on a daily basis, I’ve realized that looking or feeling stupid is my main issue.

People my age start to believe they are “technologically challenged” because we didn’t learn it in school.

Let’s face it — nothing about using a phone, working on a computer or tablet is intuitive. This means we need to learn the basic skills to establish a foundation to use technology.

You can’t learn everything at once so be patient with yourself. You can break it down and focus on one thing at a time. This helps you get comfortable and make the world of technology feel more manageable.

Concentrate on one aspect of your phone at a time. You need to use texting every day and, if you don’t know how to use it, you’ll be the odd person cheated out of fun and frequent “chats” among friends and family. Once you learn that, go on to the next app or most-used feature, like the phone app.

Quite frequently, we feel “dumb” when we don’t understand the features we use the most. They cause frustration and resistance.

It helps to stop the negative self-talk — instead of saying “I can’t use this phone” say “I need to learn how to use this phone so I can stop having these issues.”

Of the online platforms that may interest you, you might want to try YouTube. It is a great place to start with learning. Once you learn to use the platform, you can get tutorials about anything you need.

Direct your energy to things that are fun will make the learning process feel less like a chore. So focus on fun and start with things you are interested in. If you like movies, focus on using Netflix. If you love photography, focus on learning how to use your phone’s camera. Look for tutorials for this on Youtube!

Find a reliable family member or friend that can take the time to answer a specific question. Remember that not everyone has the patience to teach you. Often, it takes less time than you think. Just 10 minutes of their time can alleviate hours of frustration.

When you ask for help, make sure you have a specific set of questions or issues. It is less daunting to a friend or loved one if you say, “I don’t understand copy and paste. Do you have time to show me?” than if you say, “I need you to teach me how to use the computer.”

Local community centers, extension classes and local or virtual experts are available if you don’t feel comfortable asking someone you know. Many such places offer ongoing classes you can take or a once-a-month help session, one-to-one, for specific issues you are dealing with.

There are may tech-help experts that offer remote learning, online services, and online classes that you can connect and learn from the comfort of your home. There has been an expansion of these services since “Covid life” started. Buying lessons or enrolling in an actual class will pay dividends in the future.

Once you get over the mental block of thinking you don’t understand, you will be surprised how much you can figure out just by touching or clicking the icons you are not familiar with. You won’t break anything so don’t be afraid to play around and learn as you go.

Think about today’s kids and how the two-year-olds grab their parent’s phone and begin to tap and touch and take pictures. They aren’t scared. They don’t have anywhere near the verbal understanding that we have, life experiences, or reasoning levels. But they aren’t afraid. They react to pictures, colors, icons, and cues given on the phone by touching, not freezing, or staring. They aren’t waiting for words to guide them.

So go ahead! Be proactive with reading booklets, articles or blogs. Get on YouTube and watch video tutorials, google your questions. There is so much free content on the internet spanning all levels of knowledge.

The point is that technology isn’t going anywhere. Everything from your car, your oven, and your phone is becoming a smart device. Giving in to fear will put you in a deeper hole.

Questions to Ask on the Rough Days

 

Sometimes you have to lower the bar for yourself…

Sometimes I just don’t feel like getting up. I don’t want to take my body out of my cozy bed. I don’t feel like interacting and I don’t feel like working. Usually, these days are accompanied by feelings of “blah”. Those days are normal.

A million sayings apply to these days- This too shall pass. A bad week is not a bad life, etc, etc, etc.

“Under any circumstance always do your best; No more and no less. But keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best can sometimes by high quality, and other times it wont be as good” — The Four Agreements

On the days when I’m not feeling strong, I adjust what I’m doing to be less, to be easier, to be more doable. If you’re in a time when you’re feeling “blah” , think about how you can adjust.

You do not expect the same output from a sick person as you do from a healthy person. You shouldn’t expect the same from an energized, content you as you do from a “blah” you.

So when you’re feeling off, ask yourself ‘what does my best look like right now?’ Lower the bar for yourself accordingly. Let yourself put in 30–80% less of the effort that you would normally do.

This removes the idea that your performance should be at the same level every single day.

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” Wayne Dyer

Sometimes how you feel is completely circumstantial. Maybe you feel off because of something that your friend said or something that they didn’t say. Maybe you feel “blah” because you have a ton of deadlines and they’re killing your freedom. When you experience this, try asking yourself ‘how can I change the way that I’m looking at this?’

When faced with a situation, look back and ask yourself ‘what has helped me to feel good in the past?’

Our emotions are messages. Sometimes they’re saying ‘hey, you need a day off and sometimes they’re saying ‘hey, you need to change.

Everyone, in their life, has a bunch of buckets that need to be filled or at least somewhat maintained. You’ve got your general self-care bucket — you need to sleep, eat decently, move around once in a while. All those things, when maintained, will make you feel a lot better as a human being.

But everyone also has their own personal buckets, specific to them. A bucket that, if not maintained, will leave them feeling weird. Take the time to get to know your buckets.

My personal buckets are writing, reading, staying organized, and staying active. If I feel off and unhappy, I can visit those buckets and know which one is not filled.

Once you know your buckets, ask yourself how “inline” you are with them. Where are you lacking and how can you fill up more?

There could be something lacking in your self -care and you don’t even realize it.

Another way to feel better when you feel “blah” is to take on a project that makes you feel excited. There are many resources available online that can help you get started.

Sprinkle small, achievable self care activities during your day. What are the small things that bring you joy that you can schedule throughout your daily routines? Is there a friend you could meet for a walk? A brief time for a spiritual renewal or reflection? A coffee or tea you enjoy? A pet you can cuddle with? Journaling a list of things you are grateful for? No matter how small, a self-care activity can go a long way.

I have to say I’ve been a fan of self-help my whole life. But sometimes you need help from an outside source. This information is geared toward people who are feeling “blah” but know that they can get out of it and they feel like they’re capable of moving out of that space. It’s just a normal bout of “blahness”.

If you think what you feel is not a normal bout of blahness, that it’s something bigger than that, I encourage you to seek outside help.

“On particularly rough days when I’m sure I can’t possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100%. And that’s pretty good — Author Unknown

How to Downsize Without Becoming a Small Person

 

If you travel light you will be better equipped to travel far.

Inthe last few years, many writers and speakers are saying that decluttering and downsizing are essential to living a happier and simpler life, especially as we age. Author Gina Greenley is not alone in urging people to let go of what they don’t need and don’t use.

“Much of what we acquire in life isn’t worth dragging to the next leg of our journey” — Gina Greenley in Postcards and Pearls: Life Lessons from Solo Moments on the Road

If reducing your material things, your carbon footprint or even the size of your house is on your agenda, it’s important to remember that you don’t have to reduce your size as a human being as a result.

Packing things into boxes to pass on to our children and grandchildren doesn’t mean we have to reduce our activities, friendships, hobbies or new interests. Getting rid of a closet full of things you don’t use can make your life easier. Giving up a full, absorbing life can do the opposite.

While life changes can cause us to reduce our involvement with the world, there are concrete steps you can follow to live large and be happier than ever.

Pursue sustainable activities. Go after those interests with which you’re likely to stick. If you enjoy hiking, toss out those old maps you used in the 1980’s. Buy some lightweight hiking boots instead and plan a trip to the mountains.

You don’t have to try the steepest trails. Look for some new places to hike and keep a list of hikes you’d like to take. Look for groups that lead hikes and invite friends to hike with you.

Staying involved in the activities that are really interesting to you will broaden your world and bring more fun, unexpected people and events into your life.

Make an investment in your closest friendships. Sometimes our involvement in the world makes us weary and we have a tendency to close ourselves off from others. This makes our social lives smaller.

It’s important not to do this with your closest friends. You need them and they need you. You’ve probably known many of your friends for a long time and each person makes a unique contribution to your life. Those with whom you have the closest, most honest relationships deserve your time and attention.

Involving ourselves with people who listen, ask questions, provide help and support when we need it and encourage us to take risks can help us remain fully active in life.

Devoting time and energy into these connections can help you stay active and involved with the outside world.

“After all these years, I am still involved in the process of self-discovery. It’s better to explore life and make mistakes than to play it safe.” Sophia Loren

Keep an arts and culture to-do list. This is one way to remain involved. Make an ongoing list of movies you want to watch, even it it’s on Netflix. This is also true for books and art shows you want to see. Read arts and culture reviews online to keep up with what’s out there. Then make it a point to see what interests you.

Getting out and participating in cultural events broadens your view and keeps you active and involved.

Learn something new every year. Make a list of topics, skills and activities you’d love to know more about. It may have a wide variety of items — everything from organic farming to salsa dancing to graphic design — but it’s a good place to start.

Choose one item from the list every year. Next year may by the year you learn everything there is to know about photography or playing a musical instrument. When you’re considering what you want to learn, you may draw a blank at first, but once you start, you’ll find yourself unable to stop. Don’t overdo it. Try not to choose more than one subject a year as you may get overwhelmed and give up the activity entirely.

Get to know someone new. Even though our closest relationships are the ones we need to nurture regularly, it’s also good to make new friends. Meeting new people helps us maintain broad interests and stay connected to the outside world.

It’s enriching to connect with different people who have a variety of interests. Even a casual conversation can spark creativity and inspiration.

Bringing people into our lives regularly keeps our interests, our ideas and our worlds expanding.

Super Simple Lists for a Happier Life

 

Lists can change your happiness, change your thoughts and positively affect your behaviors …

“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer “ William S. Burroughs

A list of questions for your mind. To prompt your mind to answer questions for you, you need to be asking it questions. Create a list of questions for your mind to be working on in the background. Your questions could be ‘how do I improve communications with my partner?’ or ‘how can I make self-care easy and enjoyable?”

There is something magical about a night’s sleep. Your mind is working for you while you sleep. So asking yourself a question before you go to sleep is the best way to get it working in the background. Go to your list of questions before you sleep. Pick a question. You might even want to look up information related to that question and really give your brain some material to work with and then sleep on that question.

Don’t expect an immediate answer. You might wake up the next morning with a serious answer to your question or it might come to you next week when you’re taking a long drive or the day after when you’re taking a long shower. It’s important to let your mind relax with the question and make sure that you have a list of questions in the first place.

You might want to store this list at your bedside table so it’s easy access at night. You could also store it next to your daily planner if you’re someone who does daily planning at night.

Questions to help you reframe your thoughts. There is a quote that says, ‘ if you have problems, change their names to challenges and find solutions’. That is a good example of a reframe. It’s just a better way to look at things.

There are lot of commonly known ‘reframes’:

• problems = challenges
• nervousness = excitement
• failures = learning.

But sometimes you need to dig for an alternative reframe that really works for you in whatever circumstance you’re going through.

To help you reframe your thinking, create a list of reframe questions that help you to come up with a bunch of reframes until you come up with one that feels right.

You can take your questions and ask yourself the following:

• How would a 7 year old look at this situation?
• How would someone who really enjoys being in this situation look at it?
• What would you be missing out on if you didn’t have this situation in your life?
• What advice would you give to someone else who is going through this situation?
• How would a person that you love or a person that you admire reframe this situation in their mind?

Having a list of questions like this handy is helpful for whenever you have a problem in your life and you have a really negative framing of it and really need to reshuffle the way that you look at it.

Store this list somewhere easy to access, such as on your phone where you can quickly find it with a click of a button every time your are struggling with a negative mindset or frame.

Create a list of topics to journal on. Journaling is a tool that can help you to clarify your thinking and help you process your emotions. There are many benefits if you do it the right way. A lot of people sit down to journal but can’t think of what to journal on. Although there may be many things to think on more, they can’t just bring anything to mind.

One way is to jot down on your phone or on a piece of paper as things come up during the day. You can journal on routines or habits that haven’t been working for you. You might want to jot down some things that you want to dive deeper into.

A list of things to do in your free time (that aren’t Netflix or social media). This is a list that you can refer to when you get home from work or on weekends. Or whenever you happen to have free time. You can even use it when you have a break from work. If you work from home, you have a bit more freedom in what you can do on your breaks. Try to keep it to things that will make you feel good in the moment as well as later on.

If you’re saying things like ‘I don’t have time for that’, it’s very often that you are choosing not to make time for that thing.

Make a list of affirmations. This can be an audio list- maybe something you want to listen to in the car. Or it can be a written or digital list. Affirmations will be beneficial for you if you feel good about them when you say them, but they will not be helpful if you don’t feel confident when you’re saying them. In your list, put affirmations that feel in line with you, maybe using wording that you would actually use in real life. They could be things that you already know but you feel are nice reminders for your mind. You may need to hunt down different creators and find words that really align with you.

Make a gratitude list. I’ve been keeping a gratitude journal for a long time. It’s been a part of my routine for years. I’ve always done it on it’s own, but lately I’ve decided to kick it up a notch. Whenever, I write that I’m grateful for something that someone else did, I contact them (via, phone, text or email) and express my gratitude to them. Doing this makes me feel extra happy and extra grateful for things that I’d already written down days prior. It feels like a really nice interaction and you get to make someone else happy as well.

Create a list of favors for your future self. Doing favors for your future self feels like an act of self-love. While I’m doing the list of ‘self favors’, I think about how much I’m going to appreciate this in the future and how happy I’m going to be that I did this. I’m just thinking all these nice things about ‘future me’.

It’s similar to how doing a favor for someone else makes you feel, but this is about you. Just like there is a good feeling about checking off a ‘to-do’ but with the mind frame of ‘this is something she’s gonna appreciate so much, she’s gonna be so happy’.

I like doing favors for my future self when I’m feeling really ‘blah’…

Having a little list ready to go can turn into another act of self-love.