My Secret Challenge

 

I had a challenge going during the month of May that I didn’t tell anyone about. Earlier this year, I was determined to find out if it was true that, by increasing the amount of stories I published on Medium, I could increase my followers at a faster rate.

In February, I challenged myself to write 12 stories after writing an average of 4–5 stories per month previous to that. You can read in the following link how I did with that.

How I Challenged Myself to Become a REAL Medium Writer

After reading various posts on Medium on how to get more followers and make some real money on the platform, I decided…

byrslf.co

In March, I challenged myself to 15 stories for the month. It turned out to be a tumultuous month on a personal level but I was able to do it. The point is that I was hoping to get into the habit of a “writing schedule” and I didn’t. Here’s how I did with that:

My Second Challenge as a REAL Medium Writer

I began this second challenge with 711 followers. Ironically enough, my story titled “How I challenged myself to become…

byrslf.co

During the month of May, I challenged myself to both a writing schedule and 20 stories. The most difficult part was finding the time to do it. Since I am unable to make a living from the proceeds of my bestselling book because it has not been published yet — as a matter of fact, I’m not even done with the editing yet — this means I still work a couple of part-time jobs to make ends meet.

This meant I had to set an hour each day of the week exclusively to write. It ended up being from 6–7am Monday-Friday. While it is an early start to the day, I approached it with a fresh mind. I quickly learned that, at least for me, a fresh mind meant fresh ideas. One hour, the first awake hour of the day, exclusively dedicated to writing.

The hour goes very fast as I would start off checking my stats, then sharing my most recent story on social media. Next, I would continue with the story I was currently working on. On any given day, I would have 2–3 drafts in progress and would fill in details and make changes until I felt it was suitable to submit to a publication. I never submitted a story on the day I finished writing it. I would give myself until the following morning to edit with a fresh mind. This allowed me find errors and/or new ways to phrase things almost every time.

New ideas for stories came to me throughout the day and I would jot them down in my Notes app, a piece of paper, a napkin or whatever I had on hand at the time. I never spent time trying to figure out what to write about during my writing schedule. Some evenings, if I had time, I would do research for the story. This would give me more actual writing time in the morning.

I just want to put out there that this is what I would LOVE to do on a full time basis. My ideal day would still consist of getting up at the crack of dawn to write, then go on a brisk walk, have a good breakfast then go back to write until the early afternoon. After some yoga and stretching, I would have a snack and get back to writing. Perhaps I would do the writing in the morning and use the afternoon to find pictures for the articles. I would use the rest of the evening to read, watch interesting video content, converse with friends — all material for potential articles. Did you hear that Universe?

The writing schedule, even if it’s just one hour in the early morning for me right now, is the way to go. I’m so grateful that I finally decided to heed the advise of all those Medium writers who continually push this method. I believe it is the method that works if you are planning on a writing career for the long haul as opposed to a hobby.

There are aspects that still challenge me. Sometimes it takes longer to find the right picture than to write the story. I find myself endlessly scrolling through literally thousands of images until I see the one that really speaks to the essence of my article. Also, I have to remind myself continuously to focus on the quality of the writing while there is a quantity that I’m aiming at.

At the beginning of this challenge, I had 822 followers. At the end I am at 891 followers and a total of 132 stories since I started on Medium just over a year ago.

These days I’m feeling more confident that someday soon I will reach my goal of 1K+ followers on Medium and I’ll feel like I’ve done something significant — at least in my eyes.

The Solo Wanderluster

Solo traveling isn't about not having anyone to travel with... 

While it’s great to travel with friends and family, there is a romance associated with traveling alone. Your itinerary is suited to you and your needs only. You can go at warp speed or take things at a leisurely pace. You can choose to make new friends — or not.

No one else will be traveling with you, so you have complete control over your schedule. You can choose to sleep in, get up at the crack of dawn, eat wherever you choose, take in all the sights, or lounge at a café all day — there are endless options. You don’t have anyone to please but yourself.

Going it alone doesn’t need to be lonely or expensive. There are many places suited for the solo traveler. Whether you’re searching for a healing break from the hustle and bustle world or a unique adventurous experience. Your attention is more focused on the destination, and you’ll meet more locals and go at your own pace.

Having the guts to book your first solo trip is not easy. I have to admit it took courage for me to step into the unknown. Even though solo travel is getting popular, in some ways, it completely goes against the grain of human nature. There is a “safety in numbers” mentality to this.

Many places have easy transportation, exciting activities, and safe environments to make solo travelers feel at ease.

Solo traveling isn’t about not having anyone to go with. It’s about purposely choosing to go on your own — and surprising yourself as a result. In 2018 I did my debut solo adventure on the Camino de Santiago. Each element of that trip presented a challenge of its own and new challenges to solve entirely on my own. But after passing all those hurdles, I felt a sense of pride I had never experienced — a sense of my own strength. It was like an indescribable dose of empowerment.

I’m not the only one who’s discovered how transformative solo travel can be. According to surveys in 2019, one in four Americans prefer to travel solo. In fact, in 2019, 18% of global bookings were from solo travelers.
In this complicated world that we live in, it’s all about those rare opportunities to do exactly what you want, when you want to, without having to answer to anyone else.

When we travel alone, we discover things about ourselves that we never realized before because we haven’t had the space to explore who we are outside the context of the people we know.

With the challenges we have been living through in this day and age, the value of getting away and recharging can make solo travel a healthy habit worthy of embracing.

I never thought I’d say this but, to me, there are few things more satisfying in life than a solo trip. I went to a new destination, made all my plans, solved all problems by myself and, best of all, lived to tell about it! It has done wonders for my self-esteem and makes me feel like I can handle anything that comes my way.

This is the year to be the solo wanderluster, and consider finally taking that solo trip.

How To Create A Net For Catching Days

 

A strategy to bring more harmony into your life

I have a theory that it’s not so much all we actually have to do in one week that kills us, it’s thinking about all we have to do. It’s the thinking that stresses us.

I consider myself an organized person, but on some occasions, I’ve experienced a scheduling system failure, when all available RAMs of memory in my brain’s circuitry become overloaded. The next morning, when a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach awakens me, it is too late.

Here’s a strategy — even for the organizationally challenged — to bring more harmony into your life. It will free up those vital memory RAMs.

Take twenty minutes each Sunday to sit down with your calendar — paper or digital- to map out the next six days with a thorough “to do” list, then take a preliminary look at the following three weeks.

In order to cast a net that really catches days, it’s necessary to take into consideration all the tasks you do in one week, both professional and personal. This is not for the faint of heart, but it’s crucial. Here’s what we really do each week:

Work: Meetings, prospecting, desk tasks, planning, billing, reading, researching, travelling.

Errands: Banking, cleaners, gas station, post office.

Children: School, health, lessons, sports, carpool, play dates, parties.

Appointments: Health, fitness, beauty, automotive, animals.

Shopping: Food, clothing, drugstore items, home, gifts.

Correspondence: Bills, cards, and packages.

Home: Cleaning, laundry, decorating, improvements, cooking, repairs, entertaining, gardening.

Family, Friends, and Personal: Inspiration, introspection, rest, recuperation, relaxation, grooming, creative excursions, education.

Would you agree that, after doing most of the above, it would seem there is no time left for the last and most important category: Personal? The way to go about solving this real-life dilemma is to move Personal from last to first, making it a top priority.

Here’s an interesting tip — the left side of your brain — the location of logic-loves lists! It goes on automatic pilot when making lists, sorting, and shifting until a schedule appears that can accommodate everything. Sometimes, it’s almost manageable! If you ever hope to get it done, write it down.

Once your list is done, make it a habit of scanning it morning and night. When you’ve completed a task, cross it off. For me, it imparts a great sense of satisfaction to see all the items I’ve crossed off in a week.

You may discover that you do a lot more than you realize or give yourself credit for. You may also discover that golden moments were unconsciously wasted because there was no net to catch them. Moments to grow, to think, to nurture your dreams.

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. Annie Dillard

And we all know the truth when we hear it.

To Bee Or Not To Be

 

That is the question...

Over the past few years there’s been a lot of “buzz” about the bee population. I had a feeling it wasn’t about avoiding getting stung. As it turns out, there’s a solid reason for this.

More than 200 species of bees live throughout the world and they are responsible for pollinating about 75% of the food we eat, including a variety of fruits, vegetables and nuts.

Think about it, no bees means no oranges, no lemons, no avocados, no cherries, no peaches, no almonds and NO COFFEE!

Crops pollinated by bees are worth over $215 Billion dollars worldwide.

Bees also pollinate other fundamental plants like flowers and shrubs that protect watersheds and provide food and shelter for wildlife.

The point is that bees are SUPER important. A 2014 economic impact study by the University of Georgia determined that the annual value of pollination in the state of Georgia alone was over $316 Million dollars.

It’s important to note that while other insects such as flies, beetles, butterflies and moths are also important pollinators, bees outperform them all. This is because their diets require pollen and nectar. Their fuzzy bodies easily collect and carry pollen grains and their rapid flight from flower to flower allows them to pollinate a significant number of plants on a daily basis.

Over the last 25 years, more than half the bee species has been estimated to have gone extinct. Bees have never disappeared at this rate before.

Scientists aren’t entirely sure of all the causes of this rapid decline in the number of bees but there are a few known culprits.

Pesticides are harmful because they don’t break down quickly and are designed to persist in the environment — affecting soil, water and living organisms.

The number of fields replaced with concrete cause the pollinators to lose another food source. When bee colonies are weakened due to lack of food, they become vulnerable to viruses, parasites, and all kinds of other infections.

Fortunately, not all hope is lost and there are ways we can help

We can plant a variety of flowers and plants in more places — like our back yards, balcony or local park.

Be sure to check the plant’s label to make sure they haven’t been sprayed with a pesticide that contains neonicotinoids- a class of neuro-active insecticides chemically similar to nicotine. They may be listed on the label as acetamiprid, clothianidin, dinotefuran, imidacloprid, and thiamethoxam — all have been determined be allowed in the US marketplace by the US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA).

Like most creatures, bees are more afraid of us that we are of them. So they won’t sting us if we don’t attack them.

The Experiential Gift

 

The physical gift is just a small part of the present...

Finding a gift for an older friend, mother, sister or grandmother can be tough. The older I get, the more difficult buying a gift for my friends or family has become.

It has been my personal experience that the older we get, the less value we put in material things. In most cases, our tastes change as we age.

One of the worst things you can do is choose a gift based on stereotypes or with an “anti-aging” message. It’s best to take the time to consider the character of the special person you are giving to. Older people like things that reflect their interests and personality. After over six or seven decades of gathering stuff, many are downsizing their lives and only keep objects which are useful or beautiful. The last thing they want is clutter when they are trying to be organized.

So if stuff isn’t the answer, I go for passion. Older people are collectors or have hobbies and activities they can’t live without. This is where I got to thinking about creating something that shows my love and attention and the idea of a new experience came to mind.

It’s important to know that older people are more adventurous than we think. They are certainly more adventurous than they are portrayed in the movies! While they still appreciate things that are useful, most of them are interested in filling their lives with as many experiences as they can.

Think about the older person in your life. Is there a unique place that they would love to go to? How about a bus pass to go on a day trip or weekend adventure? How about a massage, a helicopter ride, or a boat cruise?

Not that all older people would like a helicopter ride. You shouldn’t eliminate adventurous options without thinking about their personality and interests.

Looking for the “experiential gift” with memories that last a lifetime for a special person? Check out Tinggly, an experience gift site that offers a variety of “experiential” gift ideas. There are many similar sites throughout the world.

You can give flight lessons, food tours, race car driving, wine tastings, art classes, and much more. Check out sites like Xperiencedays and Virginexperiencegifts.

Giving a physical gift is a small part of the present but when you take the time to make a personal, creative and insightful choice, you show how much you really care.

Homesharing - A Potential Alternative

 

An emerging lifeline for older adults...

The pandemic and our nation’s health system have had resounding results on where and how people live. This is especially true among older adults with increasing health concerns about retirement communities and assisted living facilities.

In addition to the potential for infection, most facilities are currently excluding visitors and sequestering residents, posing the significant health risk of social isolation. There are well-documented negative emotional and physical impacts of living alone with little human interaction.

Many older Americans are moving in with their adult children in order to avoid further health risks and keep isolation at bay until the pandemic subsides. However, as most of us can probably imagine, living in close quarters with family members can be a source of stress for all parties involved.

As a result, adult children become sandwiched between the needs of their parents and those of their own children.

Thus, the concept of homesharing — where homeowners rent out unused space in their homes to like minded long-term roommates. This is an emerging lifeline for aging adults during turbulent times.

This provides aging adults with an alternative to communal living situations and still maintain their independence and avoid social isolation. Due to lower housing costs and split expenses, this arrangement can be a financial lifeline for both parties.

The adult children can support their parents in the process of choosing the optimal roommate and homes haring arrangement. The new roommate provides social connection, help with household upkeep and quite often unexpected friendship.

Home sharing can be a viable option for tens of thousands of americans finding themselves in need of extra income, an affordable living situation, or just another person to make living alone a little less isolating.

Emergency contact information should be kept current and shared with the roommate in a secure physical location. Copies of health insurance cards, primary physician contact information and lists of known allergies and medications should also shared.

It would be smart to have a friendly conversation about ground rules and keeping things comfortable between roommates. The are agreements available online with all the things you might need to think about.

If you are looking for a new roommate, you might want to consider using FaceTime, Zoom or other videoconferencing tools to conduct interviews and get to know prospects virtually.

Sometimes circumstances lead us to places that we don’t expect. If you’re up for it, this arrangement can save you a lot of money and loneliness. If you’ve got a big house and you live alone, you might be interested in opening up to this concept.

If We Ever Had The Time

 

What would you like to do if you ever had the time?

 Most people will have a hard time holding up their end of the        conversation when “fun” is the topic. We can hold our own when the topic is diaper rash or even Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. But fun for it’s own sake? The usual response from my friends, along with a sigh and a rolling of the eyes is: “You mean fun? By myself?” This is usually followed by wistful looks.

The point is that somewhere between family and careers during the last 30 years, most of us have misplaced a fundamental side of ourselves. These days, spending time alone to nurture our imagination, to express ourselves creatively, to enjoy a personal pastime that brings you pleasure will seem impossible, impractical. Inconceivable. Out of the question.

“Right. In another life” is the other usual response.

Once we start going on solitary lingering to get reacquainted with ourselves, we usually discover that something is missing.

It’s called zest. The joy of life. That great thrill that comes when the pieces of a particular puzzle finally fit. That joy we derive when something brings us pure pleasure. Something that is uniquely our own. They used to call this magical something a hobby. Remember that?

Our imaginations need long, inefficient, happy idle time to flourish. Perhaps we also need a little personal discovery to uncover what solitary pleasures we might find are fun.

It’s been so long since we’ve consciously set aside time solely for rewarding illusions that many of us can’t figure out what to do. When we find ourselves with a couple of golden hours in which to answer to no one but ourselves we opt for taking a nap.

Today, give in to your need for dawdling and puttering. While you’re at it, consider what rewarding illusions you’ve put aside that brought you joy in the past. It is play.

Once you commit to bringing more of a sense of play into your daily life, it will begin to take on a harmonious shift. Try it.

The Art Of Simplifying Your Life

 

The people who are happiest in this world are the people who don't have as much...

I think a lot of people are trying to downsize a bit, especially when they get a bit older. Making decisions about what we want in our lives, from the people in our world to the possessions that we live with — the things that we have in our homes and the clothes that we have.

I recently had a conversation with a woman in her seventies about how we overdramatize situations. While we may have simplicity in our surroundings and possessions, we overcomplicate our minds. We fill our minds with complexities. And that needs to be simplified too.

We talked a lot about worry. Older people worry more because, from their wisdom of life experience, they know how situations can get complicated and end up in tears.

I think if you can simplify your mental process and your physical reality, it would be a more comfortable way to live. We need to learn to extract the drama from situations and learn to see life through a simpler lens.

If we change the mental process, we actually don’t need as much stuff. We fill our hours thinking about the things we need to get, about where we are going to go, where we are going to shop. Consider the consequences of the future for the actions that you are taking now in buying indiscriminately. If we can clear the mental clutter, we can actually negate the need to be such an active consumer.

Simplifying your life can really add to the quality of your life. Human beings tend to have a need to be celebrated and reassured so they look for the complexity of being famous — even if only on social media. In reality, it is better to have one good friend instead of a thousand likes.

Most of the material things we have are unnecessary. We use them, not because we need them, but simply because we have them. Look around you- how many of the things you own do you actually need to live a quality life?

A lot of us have experienced the chaos of downsizing and deciding to keep or go without. To me, downsizing isn’t about saying “no”, it’s about saying “yes”. “Yes” to the things that I really love and “yes” to the things that are important to me.

Avoid gossip and drama. Saying “yes” only to the things you love gives you a much deeper appreciation.

Hopefully, with these pieces of guidance, we can all try to establish more effective living.

The Journey As Real Life

 

Can happiness ONLY be found when we arrive at our heart's destination?

I am always striving to have enough success to ensure that I have the financial capability to control my own creative destiny and to allow me the luxury to pursue my passions.

I have now spent far longer on the road from Here to There than I could have ever imagined. Sixty years after my adventure on this earth began, I’ve come to a realization. I’ve always controlled my own creative destiny, but not always its course. I simply didn’t have the common sense to realize it until now. Better late than never right?

The point is that I’ve learned that the essence of my journey is as important, maybe even more important, than arriving at my destination. In order for me to realize genuine happiness, I must learn to enjoy every moment, every step of the way. After all, the journey is really all that I’ll ever know. Day in and day out. The journey is real life.

The artist Georgia O’Keeffe came to the same conclusion in 1923. “I found myself saying to myself…I can’t live where I want to…I can’t go where I want to…I can’t do what I want to. I can’t even say what I want to. I decided I was a very stupid fool not to at least paint as I wanted to…that seemed to be the only thing I could do that didn’t concern anybody but myself.”

I most certainly am not able to paint like Georgia O’Keeffe or find splendor in bare bones and desert sands as well as flowers, but I can slowly learn to follow her example, to carve out time for rewarding writing reveries that give me a glimpse of my real self. It’s during those idle hours that I find I am most abundant with my own potential.

This skill — the craft of taking the time to journey inside and care for ourselves and what we want — rarely comes naturally or easily. But I believe that with practice, with patience, with perseverance, it does come.

A Scentsational Journey

 

They say we each have our own scent...

Our unique scent is as distinctive as our DNA, a deeply personal bouquet of diet, hormones, hygiene, and health.

Did you know? Napoleon once wrote his wife, Josephine, and told her “not to bathe” because he was coming home in three days and adored her natural aroma.

After my father passed away eight years ago, my Mom kept one his handkerchiefs. She keeps it at her bedside table drawer and when she presses it up to her nose she is comforted once again by his immediate presence as scent memories convey his love across time, space, and eternity.

Our homes have their own particular scents too. The aroma of lemon-scented furniture polish, cat dander, damp dogs, laundry in the hamper. The scent of coffee, bacon, and ripening fruit in the kitchen; rumpled sheets in the bedrooms; fresh flowers, candles in the living room.

Diane Ackerman reminds us that “smells spur memories, but they also rouse our dozy senses, pamper and indulge us, help define our self-image, stir the cauldron of our seductiveness, warn us of danger, lead us into temptation, fan our religious fervor, accompany us to heaven, wed us to fashion, steep us in luxury”.

Today, essential oils are used in aromatherapy to positively affect the mind and body. Inhaling the aroma can stimulate the limbic system, involving our emotions, behavior, smell, breathing, heart rate, blood pressure and triggers long-term memory. They are considered ideal for physical and emotional wellness.

What if we lost our sense of smell? If we suddenly suffered from anosmia, as do two million Americans? We would find ourselves cast adrift without the internal compass of scent.

I invite you to take a scentsational journey and delight in the simple pleasure of your sense of smell. Indulge yourself with comfort aromas. Take a creative excursion to an Italian market; browse through a used bookstore; stop by the perfume counter of a large department store near you and inhale delight. Lie on the grass in a nearby park or your backyard and smell the sweetness of spring. Take a walk in the woods, a garden, or your neighborhood after it rains.

Cook plum tomatoes, garlic, onions, sausage, and peppers in olive oil to go on fresh pasta for dinner tonight; enjoy a scented bath and then a dusting of our earliest scent memory, Johnson’s Baby Powder.

The world around us possesses exquisite smells that can stir our memories, change our emotions, and transform our feelings and moods.

Today, when you smell something wonderful, be grateful for this remarkable gift.

How To Make An "Over 50's Bucket List"

 

It's imperative if you're on the right side of 50...

Most people over the age of 50 want to continue to be active and busy and a great majority have had lifestyle changes and know there’s more that they want to be doing.

But what exactly is “more”?

If this is you, it’s time to make an “Over Fifties Bucket List” — so pour yourself a glass of wine or a cup of coffee or tea and set a timer for 30 minutes or more and reflect:

Reflect on what? Here are some prompts to help you along the way…

#1: Reflect on what you’ve done up to this point and what you’ve loved as well as what you haven’t loved as much;

#2: Your ideal day and week.

If these prompts aren’t enough, we should dive right into the bucket list.

Why is the bucket list important?

For one, it allows you to dream. It’s your bucket list so don’t censor yourself. This is not an “if this happens, then I would want to do this”. This is about the things you would want to do for yourself. Even if you want to hold off on doing some of these things, they still need to be on your bucket list.

The list doesn’t have to be extravagant like “I want to jump out of an airplane or circle the world on an air balloon.” It could be “I want to take a mini-vacation every month for a year”.

You can start with a messy brainstorm list and then go back, edit, and plan your list from that.

It gives you goals.

Have a look at your list and determine what you would like to try first. Next, start taking the steps to make that happen. This may involve some planning and letting others know about it. Set a timeline and start working on this goal.

I decided I wanted to have a mini-vacation every month — even if it was a day trip. I sat down with a map and a calendar and decided where I wanted to go and when I could do it. Sometimes, this involved moving some work dates around and involving my friends and family’s schedules and plans.

Facing the fears and doing it anyway was one of the BEST feelings in my life.

It energizes you.

Just looking at this list and just imagining yourself doing the things on it gives you newfound energy. Planning and taking the steps to get yourself closer gives you a reason to get up in the morning and go to work with a brighter outlook and attitude. It gives you something to look forward to. To me, that is joy.

You can try things to figure out what you like.

Norma was a widowed, empty nester homemaker from New Jersey who was trying to figure out what to do with her life. She took a trip to Spain while terrified to do it on her own. When she was there, she decided that when she got back home, she would pack up and move to Spain to live.

Three months after doing so, she ended up starting a relocation agency that caters to single women moving to Spain. Had she not gone there for that trip, moving to Spain would not have occurred to her as a life choice.

Having a bucket list gives you things to see what might click.

This is not saying that we don’t love the people and things in our lives — our work, our friends, our families. Why not have some friends over and have an “Over 50s Bucket List” party?

The point is that we can love those things and look forward to doing things for ourselves as well.