How To Successfully Live Alone Over 60

 

Friends are the antidote for loneliness

A lot of women, young and old, are dealing with living by themselves. In fact, there are more older people living alone in the U.S. than anywhere else in the world. Most of the ones I know, myself included, say they love it. They can get so much done, make their own rules, do their own thing. Most of them are good without a “significant other” in their lives as well.

That is true to an extent. Everyone who says that, including myself, also accepts that it’s really nice to have some company now and then. It’s important to have a community — even if it’s virtual — a place where you can go and share your thoughts and feel like you’re not by yourself. Even in the moments of appreciation for your own company, you like to have people around you.

Relocation, illness and retirement are common events in later life requiring a conscious effort to rebuild a social network. Face-to-face friendships do matter. It’s important to have a hug now and then as well as a real human being looking at you in the eyes and saying “how are you doing?”. Time alone is essential to our well-being but so is company and having friends.

Personally speaking, I like having friends. I think it’s in our DNA to talk about things and enjoy conversation.

You die alone, philosophers say, but you could die sooner if you live your life in loneliness. There are a lot of statistics that support that loneliness is a big problem and that social isolation is creating health issues for people around the world. This is true, but there is a big difference between loneliness and aloneness.

Loneliness can lead to anxiety, discontent, sadness and depression. On the other hand, aloneness can give you a sense of freedom, openness and expansiveness that you don’t get when you’re living with someone you’re not happy with or surrounded by people who don’t lift you up.

When we live by ourselves, we have time to think, reflect and be creative. When we are energized, we are more likely to go out and engage with other people in a social environment.

When you travel alone, try to stay at hostels or small boutique hotels. This way, you’re not just a person behind a door. It helps us to not worry so much about what other people think of us. We are self-contained. We know the triggers that upset us.

It’s important that, even when we’re home alone, we disconnect. Turn off the TV and computer and just absorb the reality of solitude. We tend to fill up time when we’re alone but it’s important to disconnect.

Get up early. Use the early hours of the day to get things done at home so you have time to do things out in the world. Use your knowledge and your power to meet other people and build your community.

We owe it to ourselves to be comfortable with who we are, especially as we get older. We can still be connected to our families and the people we love but our time is our time.

Studies show that relationships are the key to healthy aging, especially cultivating younger friends for their energy and fresh perspective — not to mention their ability to help us out with technology!