We must be willing to give up the life that we planned, so we can have the life that is waiting for us- Joseph Campbell
I’ve been seeing so many quotes about inner peace lately. It got me thinking about what I’ve done in my life to make it better, lighter, calmer and richer.
I’ve had some major changes in my life in the last 6 years or so. If I would have had to go through what I went through in 2020 ten years ago, I would have been a basket case.
The first thing that comes to mind is the expectations game. We all have expectations and certain standards for the people that are in our lives. If they don’t live up to our standards, we get upset, we get hurt. In fact, we sabotage our own happiness by expecting other people to live up to our standards.
These days, if my friend doesn’t say anything about my new and gorgeous haircut or outfit, I’m gonna ask her what she thinks! I’m not going to wait and essentially set a trap and see if she’ll walk through it.
The second thing I had to change were the feelings of regret. Every time I felt myself go down the road of regret, I would pull it in and change my mindset before it was too late and my day was ruined. I trained myself to stop and replace those thoughts of regret with something positive.
Let’s face it, we’re not gonna live a life that is totally happy and without regret, but what we can do is replace those bad feelings and those bad memories with something positive. It took a while, but I learned to recognize those triggers and I can stop of feelings of regret. I learned that I can’t have inner peace if I’m upset with myself all the time- that what I did in the past was wrong. I have to move on and have a happy life.
The next thing I had to work on was my identity. At my age? Working on my identity? I remember being a teenager and working on self-love but, as we get older, we start looking at ourselves like a commodity that’s losing value because we’re aging. There is a lot of emphasis on thick hair, skin that doesn’t have any wrinkles, a body that moves smoothly and can wear the latest fashions.
It gets exhausting. For our own peace of mind, we have to stop viewing ourselves as a car that has excessive miles on it. We have to start putting things in motion that make us feel in control about who we are as a person. The point is that, who we are as a person has nothing to do with how thick our hair is or how many wrinkles we have.
We all want to be the best that we can be, but having value as a human being is about our heart and our mind, our soul, what we do, what we put forward. It has to do with the actions we take to make this world a better place.
So we have to actually sit down with ourselves and ask “Who am I? Who was I? and Who do I want to be?”. When you get that answer of ‘who you want to be’, your identity will come back.
One of the things that has given me peace and inspiration is reading about women who have been tremendous leaders in this world. I have gained so much from reading books or watching films about women that have made a difference. It makes me feel like it’s never too late to feel like I can make a difference.
We must do the things we think we cannot do — Eleanor Roosevelt
It’s time to step outside that circle of ourselves and get involved in the worlds of causes that exist out there. Feeling like we can make a difference makes us feel peaceful inside.
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