The Art of Kind Conversation

 

We need to be cautiously aware of the words we use in our communication.

I am amazed at the uncontrolled and selfish conversing I see and hear everywhere lately. In these turbulent times, I see and hear harsh opinions on TV, social media, and restaurants. Have people forgotten “It’s just your opinion”? Just because you have an opinion doesn’t mean you are ‘right’ and the other person is ‘wrong’. It’s just your opinion. We all have a right to voice our opinions but not to insult or antagonize others with it.

These days, a lot of us have hundreds and thousands of ‘friends’ on social media that we don’t even know personally. Remember, all those friends have their opinions, too. Also, let’s not forget that communication includes tone of voice, body language and facial expressions that cannot be used when texting or posting.

Have you been unfriended or unfollowed? Do you do that to others? I know family members who have done that with each other. This would mean they are disengaging from an environment that was built to connect us. I do it when it’s obvious that certain people have not learned the skill of kind conversation.

If you feel strongly about an issue, you can get support for it by joining social media groups that support your opinion. There you can openly voice your beliefs and support others. You can even create your own group!

If you prefer to do this face to face, you can join or create your own Meetup.com group. This is a platform that allows people a way to meet locally or online to discuss interests, passions and opinions for varied purposes.

It’s important to consider the source of your opinions. Where does your opinion come from? Did you inherit it from your parents or through religion? Are you clear on the facts behind your opinion? Would you be able to argue it if you were challenged?

Consider challenging yourself from time to time to determine how deeply your opinion is rooted and if you have an open mind for discussion when you are face-to-face with someone. Our opinions can sometimes be changed or modified — even yours!

You can open yourself up for alternative options from the privacy of your home. You can read controversial articles or turn on the TV to an opposing channel and listen with an open mind. You can turn on YouTube and watch videos that declare a different opinion than yours.

Documentaries are a great way to do this because they are based on facts. They can make you aware of things you were not aware of before watching the video. You can have alternatives to your thinking instead of ‘black and white’, ‘right or wrong’.

Labeling tends to create division instead of togetherness. Why do we use terms like conservative, liberal, left wing, right wing? How about the labeling of races… aren’t we just all human beings?

We need to be more cautiously aware of the words we use in our communication.

If someone wants to push their opinion on you, you can leave a confrontation decisively and calmly. You can delay the conversation and state: “This is not the time or place for this conversation. Can we pick it up later when I’m more prepared to answer?”

You can also respond by saying “I appreciate you sharing your opinion. You have the right to yours as I have the right to mine. Your friendship is more important than our differences”. You can even add, “Let’s go to dinner, watch the game, get a coffee.”

It’s important to remember that relationships are much more important than opinions. Life would be short and sad if, at the end of the day, you are sitting all by yourself tightly surrounded by your opinion.