The Pleasures (and Struggles) of Thriving Solo

It’s time to level the playing field…

I recently found out that marriage rates are at a record low and that the number of adults without partners has been rising at a steady rate. However, American society still considers the adult as one with a partner and the standard household as multiple people.

According to the latest count of the Census Bureau, there are about 36 million solo dwellers — making up 28 percent of U.S. households. Even though this trend has been building for decades, single adults living alone still seem to be living in a society that is stacked against them. When it comes to healthcare, work, shopping and housing, it becomes a lot easier if you have a partner or live with family members.

The fact is that each year, more and more single people who live alone are burdened by this.

Just to be clear, those who live alone are not lonely and miserable. According to research, single people are more social than those who have partners.

In her book “How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century”, author Bella DePaulo points out some of the pleasures of having your own space: “the privacy, the freedom to arrange your life and your space just the way you want it — you get to decide when to sleep, when to get up, what you eat, when you eat, what you watch on Netflix, how you set the thermostat.”

The downsides of living alone tend to be more on the level of society and not so much on a personal level. Certainly having a partner makes large and small expenses more affordable, from the overhead costs of daily life to utility bills, rent or even a down payment on a house.

A recent study pointed out that, for a couple, living separately is about 28 percent more costly than living together.

Many managers in the workplace presume an employee who lives alone has extra time to stay at the office or take on extra projects simply because they don’t have a family to go home to. Some are not even compensated fairly because managers give raises based on the assumption that an employee with a family has more expenses for child care, etc.

This means that if many workers who live alone end up making less money, they face less favorable pricing options than other shoppers. Buying food in larger quantities at the grocery store is cheaper but people who live alone normally will not consume perishable items quickly enough.

I wish more stores would let me buy only as much of an item as I please, instead of forcing me to buy large package sizes. Even in the case of paper towels or toilet paper that don’t spoil, I don’t have space to stockpile.

There are communities where single residents get to have their own spaces with expansive shared areas where they can run into other people. If you were to need help moving heavy furniture or need a ride somewhere in an emergency, a neighbor is easy to reach. We need more options like this to make solo living easier.

I strongly believe that if housing, health care and education weren’t so expensive, more people would thrive for the joys of living solo.