This week, I finished reading “Chasing Daylight” by Eugene O’Kelly, where he ultimately chronicled the last leg of his amazing journey. It was a difficult and emotional read about O’Kelly’s final moments with his loved ones.
In 2005, Eugene Kelly was 53 and on top of the world. He was CEO of a major accounting firm after working his way there from an accounting assistant in 1972.
As many global CEOs do, he was traveling the world, working 90 hour weeks, schmoozing potential clients on flights all the way to Australia to land an account and turning around and flying back to Manhattan. He was enjoying the life he had built for himself.
Although he travelled often, he loved his wife and his kids dearly and was making plans with his wife for when he retired.
O’Kelly suddenly started experiencing headaches and a loss of control over one side of his face. After a series of medical tests, he learned that he had an inoperable brain tumor and was given less than three months to live. That was the instant when his entire life changed.
He resigned from his job and began planning his death in as organized a manner as he planned his life, arranging the logistics of settling his estate and doing the spiritual work of coming to terms with his “transition”.
On the top of his list was to “close the book” on his most valuable connections. He made a list of his most important professional and personal relationships.
He began by sending letters to many people on the list informing them of the news and explaining what their relationship had meant to him. He then began scheduling final phone calls or in-person meetings, consisting of long walks, meals and other unique outings.
He created “precious moments “ with those he valued most and he made those moments memorable, with the understanding that it would be the last time he would see that person.
He writes in his memoir that these moments were the best days of his life, having spent them in unique ways with the people most important to him.
I think O’Kelly’s insight and wisdom offer each of us a possible plan for reconnecting with the people who matter most when this pandemic passes. Many of us are thinking about how quickly we can “get away” and blow off some steam along with some savings.
Gratefully, most of us have the luxury of replicating O’Kelly’s approach without the burden of knowing it is the last time we see that person.
I can’t think of a better way to plan a return to “normal” than to consider how we can create a few of these precious moments with the people that matter most to us. This is the time to let others know what they mean to us with both our words and actions.
Who do you need a precious moment with?
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