Introversion is much deeper than what one sees on the outside. Identifying an introvert isn’t simple. It’s not in how quiet or shy they are, how soothing and calm their voice is, or whether they are socially awkward or not.
There’s a lot more to introverts than meets the eye.
Someone who’s an introvert can be extroverted in energy and still get their energy from a very different place. One can be an introvert and appear extroverted on the surface.
The secret in knowing whether you’re introverted or not is in knowing how you “fill your cup”. Where do you get your energy? And how do you refuel?
We all know that you can’t pour from an empty cup and, as introverts, we feel restful after time spent in contemplation or alone in nature.
What marks an introvert is their deep need to be alone. We recharge through solitary activity and reflection. There is so much joy and fulfillment in having the time and space to ponder by oneself.
Introverts need far less stimulation than extroverts. They prefer environments that are not overstimulating. This all circles back to energy and where they get it from. As an introvert myself, I often feel overwhelmed by groups of people. Suffocated by too many sights or sounds. I sometimes feel drained and depleted of energy after spending too much time with other people’s energy.
I think a lot of people think that introverts are antisocial. That they don’t like socializing or they don’t like being around people. But, in my case, that can’t be farther from the truth.
Social introverts tend to be mislabeled.
As a social introvert myself, I love socializing. But I need to do it in small doses. Seemingly extroverted on the outside, we often get mistaken as young souls — always on the lookout for excitement, adventure and novelty, new experiences and interesting people. I think I’m a prime example of one — naturally lively, chatty and enthusiastic — I get excited over the smallest of things. I can walk up to anyone and start a conversation without hesitation.
But I think there’s a lot more souls out there like us. Wishing to be heard and desiring to be understood. I need time to peacefully reflect — in hobbies, in nature, in a journal. I can spend 70–90% of my day without seeing another fellow soul and thoroughly enjoy it. I don’t get lonely. Seeing my neighbors on my walks is enough socialization for me. This is why I choose the writing work that I do — so I can spend my time in silence and work independently.
Time to myself refuels my energy to the point where I can give abundantly to others — socially and creatively. I look forward to the day when I can spend the majority of my days in contemplation and creation.
I think that what it all comes down to is that we judge others too hastily. Too quickly do we make assumptions and assume that we know everything about a person’s innermost self. That we label them as one personality or another and move on. Our minds are so eager to put labels on people. So eager to put people into categories.
I think that, from now on, instead of telling others that I’m a social introvert, I’ll say “I light up energetically by being alone”.
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