How to Declutter your Fantasy Self

 

Try this for a happier and more authentic you…

Fantasy self? What is a fantasy self? And why is it a good idea to declutter your fantasy self?

Most of us have things that we would like to change about ourselves for good or bad. It could be our financial situation. It could be our appearance. It could be the relationship that we have with ourselves and the people around us.

A ‘fantasy self’ is a highly-idealized image that you hold of yourself and how you want others to perceive you as being.

A lot of times people purchase items that feed into a desire to achieve the fantasy self that they have up on a pedestal. Most of the time, they end up not using them and they’re stuck in a corner or stuffed in drawers. These items just end up taking up space in our homes, our lives, our minds and weighing us down from achieving real true happiness and being our true selves. This can cause a lot of negative emotions like guilt and anxiety.

This is not to say that it’s impossible to learn new skills or to try to become a better version of yourself. But if you have items laying around your home that you haven’t used or haven’t touched in 6 months, a year, 10 years or even (in my case) 30 years, letting them go can be really rewarding and healing. It can even help you get in better touch with your most authentic self.

Clothing is one those items. How many times have you gone out and purchased an item of clothing or a pair of shoes because someone told you or you read in a magazine that this was THE thing to have? This is the thing that’s going to give you confidence, raise your self-esteem and make you feel like your most perfect self walking around. I have actually thrifted items that I knew were too small because I told myself that someday I was going to be back to my ideal weight and I was going to fit into those things. Guess what? I never did fit into those things! Sound familiar?

Exercise equipment is a big fantasy self item that you can declutter right now. Treadmills, ellipticals, bands, weights; all of those things we purchase with the best of intentions and then feel guilty about not using them.

When you’re trying to instill good fitness habits, it’s important to find things that fit into your life and that you enjoy doing. If you don’t enjoy doing it, you’re not going to use it.

Then there are books. You probably have books that you’ve bought and you haven’t read. Also, books that you started to read halfway and then you stopped because you just weren’t feeling good about the book. There may be books that you read but you’ll probably never read again because you didn’t enjoy it or it didn’t resonate with you.

“If you missed your chance to read a particular book, even if it was recommended to you or it’s one you’ve been intending to read for ages, this is your chance to let it go. You may have wanted to read it when you bought it, but if you haven’t read it by now, the book’s purpose was to teach you that you didn’t need it. There’s no need to finish books that you only got halfway through. Their purpose was to be read halfway. So get rid of all those unread books. It would be better for you to read a book that really grabs you right now than one that you left to gather dust for years.” Marie Kondo — The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up

Kitchen appliances and cookbooks are another item. How many cookbooks or kitchen appliances have you purchased with the best of intentions, then you end up not using them but they’re just taking up space.

If your fantasy self is a master chef but you can only make a grilled cheese sandwich, maybe it’s time to look at what works for your current self in your kitchen right now.

The social Media fantasy self is huge! This can be very toxic. We see people having these amazing lives, taking these amazing pictures, traveling to amazing places and we might start to feel bad about ourselves because we are not doing those things.

What we have to remember is that social media is real but it isn’t reality.

If you are following someone who makes you feel bad about yourself, that you are comparing yourself with them and coming up short, you should unfollow that person and protect your happiness.

What about sentimental items? We may look like what we were like in the past, who we were in the past and fondly remember those times. We may want to hold on to things that remind us of those times. But maybe they aren’t something that we are currently using or that make us happy when we look at them now. If you’re holding something from the past because it made you happy then, but it’s not something that fits your current lifestyle, or that makes you happy and use on a daily basis right now, maybe you could consider letting it go.

Letting go of sentimental items can be extremely difficult, but it can be also extremely rewarding and cathartic and healing to finally let go.

Gym Memberships and subscriptions are something we sign up for with all the good intentions in the world. Maybe we use them at the beginning of the year and then we fall off the wagon.

Maybe you’re not at the point where you could go touring in Europe but you can order this wine subscription box that delivers wine to you every month and pretend! Then we find that we don’t really enjoy the wines that they’re picking for us and it just feels like a waste of money, but you feel guilty about wasting the money.

Take the time to think about what subscriptions and memberships you are currently enrolled in, write them down and see what you actually use and what you can consider getting rid of.

Take a look at your hobby and craft supplies and see if there is anything in there that is taking up space that you just don’t need anymore.

A lot of times our fantasy self is rooted in outward appearances. So it makes sense that makeup, haircare and skincare would be a big part of that. Curling irons, straighteners, hair care products, jade rollers, cellulite brushes, massagers — all these things promise us that we have to use them to feel better about ourselves. But if, for some reason, they don’t work or we don’t enjoy using them or we don’t see any results, it’s ok to let these items go.

One of the more insidious fantasy self items is technology. It has the ability to make our lives extremely awesome and convenient. But it also has the power to make us miserable, depending on how we use it.

When you suffer from FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), every time your phone buzzes, you check your social media because you don’t want to miss anything that’s happening. When you’re bored, you end up scrolling mindlessly for hours, refreshing over and over again to see what’s going on in the news and in your friend’s lives. It’s like an endless hamster wheel.

Is there anything that you could declutter because you’re not using it or because it makes you feel bad about yourself? Do you still have any broken tech, gaming stuff, gadgets, cd’s, DVD's, cameras?

Take a look at the technology that you’re surrounding yourself with and think of where you can trim the fat.

I hope that you have enjoyed this list of fantasy self items that you can declutter and be the most authentic and happiest version of you. All of these things will take time but it is an immensely rewarding process.