How To Detox Your Feelings

 

Feeling overwhelmed? It’s time for a detox!

Overwhelm starts in your mind. Stress and anxiety can be very isolating and it’s a sensitive subject to discuss — even with your closest friends and family members. It makes it easy to think that you are alone in dealing with these issues. It feels like you are somehow weaker or you’re falling behind.

A recent study found that 92% of working moms and 89% of stay-at-home moms felt overwhelmed by work, home and parenting responsibilities.

Statistics tell us that these types of issues are very common. Our beliefs that others are doing better than us and that we are falling behind or we’re failing can shape our inner voices into our own worse enemies.

Say nice things to yourself. Most of us say things to ourselves when we’re feeling down that we would never dream of telling another person whom we know is feeling stressed out and overwhelmed. So, why do we feel like we can talk to ourselves like this?

Know that you are not alone. If you can’t say positive things to yourself, at least commit to not saying negative things or talking down to yourself. Remember when your Mom told you — “if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything”? This applies to your own inner voice as well.

Make the bed. Making the bed first thing in the morning should be the cornerstone of your self-help routine. If you make the bed first thing in the morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. it will give you a small sense of pride and accomplishment at the start or your day and it helps you to get motivated to do other tasks. It can give you a small sense of order that can set off a chain of events and help you be more productive. When you get to the end of the day and you look back, you can see all the things that you were able to accomplish. Little habits like this make a huge difference over time.

Say no. This may come as a shocker but, you’ve been lied to your entire life. The magic word is not “please”. The magic word is “no”. It is perfectly ok, when you’re stressed out and overwhelmed, to say no to things in order to take things off your plate.

In many cases, when you say “no” to one thing, you’re saying “yes” to something else. Say “yes” to the things that are really going to move the needle forward for you and “no” to the things that you don’t have the time and the energy for.

“Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough” Josh Billings

The ability to say “no” is very underrated and a very healthy habit that we all need to develop more.

Done is better than perfect. The trick is to get the things done that you need to get done. Keep focused on moving forward so that you can keep building the momentum that’s going to accomplish what you need to accomplish and be less stressed out and overwhelmed at the end of the day.

Write down your “big three”. When life gets overwhelming, there are two natural responses; I’m either completely paralyzed and stuck or I’m running around like crazy and not really accomplishing anything. I find that, in these moments, what works for me is to make a “big three” list. This is the list where I identify “what are the three things that are essential for me to have accomplished by the end of the day?” Until I have accomplished those 3 things, I don’t even think about doing anything else. If I have extra time, I can try and get some more things done or I can take a break and relax.

Limit distractions. I love Netflix and You Tube. I usually watch them while I’m doing other things at home. But it definitely makes me less efficient. I sometimes want to pause and take a seat back or rewind and see something again. When you’re overwhelmed, you should limit distractions like this because our brains are not wired for heavy duty multitasking and when you’re overwhelmed, the extra noise can sometimes be the straw that broke the camel’s back.

It’s advisable that, when you’re overwhelmed, take off your phone’s notifications and leave it in a drawer, don’t have the TV running in the background and really allow yourself to focus on the task that you need to complete. When you’re able to focus more fully, you’re going to get a lot more done.

Take care of future you. This can be an effective technique to save time and energy in the future with minimal effort in the now. Plan ahead. If you have a slow work week this week but know that you have a busy week next week, maybe you can take care of some of those tasks now so that you don’t go crazy the following week.

If you’re making meals, make a little extra or a double batch so that you have leftovers for the busy times. Meal planning also makes meals and grocery shopping easier going forward. We are not trying to work harder, we’re trying to work smarter.

Ask for help. This is especially hard for me to do. Sometimes we are literally drowning in anxiety and we are still not willing to ask for help. I know I have friends and family that are constantly offering their help and I still don’t ask. But I’m learning (and I know they are reading this). The choice to ask can sometimes be a life saving choice. Don’t forget, you can also hire help when you need it.

I hope some of these ideas help you stay “cool as a cucumber” no matter what life throws at you.

How to Maintain your Self-Esteem

 

When we know our worth and who we are, the outside world will align with us.

Self confidence and self-esteem are the essential things for being successful in life. It is something we should pursue actively. Because we cannot control the way people react to something we say or do, we need to build our self-esteem from the inside out.

One way to do this is to come up with at least ten positive attributes. What aspects of yourself do you like? What are you already good at? Keep this list on you at all times and read it each time you feel low.

Look at all the things you have already achieved in your life and visualize everything that is still to come. Be positive and optimistic. Stop thinking negatively about where you are today.

Develop an attitude of gratitude. Take this practice seriously because it can change your life. Every morning and night, say thanks for all you already have and for the unique things that have happened during the past day. You will be surprised how much there is to be grateful for. Even when life seems down-in-the-dumps, you can be grateful for being alive, having a roof over your head, enough food to eat, clean water to drink, etc. We take things for granted but we have so much already.

Set smart goals for yourself. Start by writing your goals, dreams, and desires down. Do this in as much detail as possible. Next, determine their priority and start working on your biggest goal. Break it down into small achievable steps. Go through that list every single day until it becomes a daily habit. Make sure to cross off and celebrate each time you meet a goal.

Don’t wait to see when something will happen, be proactive, make things happen. Imagine what it will be like when you have achieved what you want and allow this to fuel your motivation and determination. Tell other people about your plans so they can hold you accountable.

Helping other people feel good about themselves will bolster your confidence. Making each person feel that he/she is significant will bring forth amazing results in your life and theirs.

Sometimes it helps to improve your circle of influence. By joining social clubs, organizations or business networks, you are likely to find successful, confident people. Mixing with the right people and establishing good social contacts can give you assurance.

Hobbies or sports can increase your self-confidence. It’s all about finding balance in life. Also, it can help you keep your health strong. It’s the foundation for a sound body and a clear mind. Not having health problems and feeling good, plays a significant part in your self-esteem and gaining balance in life.

Failures and disappointments often result in low self-esteem. Learn from your failures. When we don’t achieve our goals, we get frustrated and can get negative about our capabilities. This does not help. The difference between winners and losers is the speed at which they can get up and learn from their failures. It’s important to know that failures are part of life. The best way to overcome them is by learning the lessons they offer us.

A coach or mentor can be help. Also, involving yourself in positive atmospheres such as those of self-improvement seminars can help you find purpose and gain self-esteem and feel confident. Reading self-help books and listening to audio programs helps. However, the most successful method is coaching as it gives you someone who holds you accountable.

I’ve been a believer in self-help for as long as I can remember and can attest to the fact that they do, indeed, work. We are living in a complicated world. However, these days, there are so many sources available. Surely there is one that will work for you. Why not give it a try?

Is Intuition Real?

 

…or something we’ve made up in our minds?

I’ve had several people ask me about intuition: What is it? Is it real or something we’ve made up in our mind?

It begs the question — what is it exactly? Intuition is that quiet voice inside of us that lets us know when something is right or wrong and lets us have more insight into a situation. Usually, we can hear it when we are quiet and still. When we are connected to our heart and not our mind or ego.

It is extremely difficult for us to connect with our intuition when we are rushing through our busy lives, living in our heads, being forced to make decisions and living by the clock. These external things are much louder than our intuition and drown it out.

In order to connect with our intuition, we have to stop, open our hearts and listen.

In a Forbes article, it is stated that some scientists and researchers say that intuition is the highest form of intelligence we posses. That hunch or gut feeling, that little voice within us, contains a lot of power and is our truth. It is far more insightful than the outside world, data or input. It is a positive, beneficial way of making decisions.

When you are connected to your intuition, you might feel a sense of calmness or peace, almost as if the truth and clarity make the decision easier for you. You may also get a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, like something isn’t quite right about the situation, even if you can’t put your finger on it. Regardless of the case, there is a lightness associated with the insight even if it goes against what you want or how you want the situation to be resolved.

Your intuition may speak to you in different ways so that you get the message. You may feel a sense of peace or a sickness in the pit of your stomach. You may feel clarity and lightness about what you need to do. You feel confident. You may get messages in your dreams. You may have physical illness that can grow. You may get the same type of message in different ways or repeatedly.

In order to connect with your intuition, you need to connect with yourself first — your true authentic self. We tend to bury and hide who we are under the personas we take on in our childhood and the roles we play as a result of those personas. We become a prisoner of our limiting beliefs. We deny our gifts and our purpose.

Part of this process includes loving yourself. When we don’t love ourselves we limit our ability to connect to our intuition. It can be difficult to love ourselves because our personas and limiting beliefs impact this.

Learning to love ourselves can be a lifelong journey. The more we accept without judgement or self-hatred, the more we can connect to our higher selves.

You need to be still and quiet. Meditate, go out in nature. Quiet down your mind so you can connect with your heart, you gut and that small quiet voice inside you. Remove yourself from distractions so that you can quiet down the noise and drama associated with the situation.

You should also connect with your physical body to see if there are any feelings coming up. You may have that sick feeling, or maybe you feel a resounding “yes” in every cell of your body.

You can also try channeled writing to help you connect. This is done by writing a question on a piece of paper, taking a few deep breaths to clear your mind, then putting pen to paper and letting the words show up in your mind and start writing.

You don’t need to make sense of what you are writing, just write as fast as you can until the words stop coming. It’s important that you trust that what you are hearing is valid and that your intuition is focused on helping you live your highest good. Also, keep in mind that the answer you get may not be the answer you want.

When you learn to trust your intuition, it makes you better at making decisions. Your decisions will likely be faster and more aligned with what’s best for your life’s journey. You will reduce stress and anxiety because you have a method that gives you instant feedback in your body and what’s best for you.

You will find that, as you learn to connect with, feel and act on your intuition, your life decisions become clearer and easier.

How to Connect with your Wild Woman

 

She is you. She is me. She is all of us…

We spend a lot of time trying to connect with ourselves when we’re older. We’re trying to find that woman who we always wanted to be.

When my friend Nancy was growing up, she was told that, after 40, it wasn’t proper to draw attention to yourself and that you needed to act your age. That she should wear her hair short and wear clothes that were appropriate for a mature woman.

She began to challenge this belief when she grew older. She found herself feeling quite shocked by the idea that she had to wear certain clothes and look a certain way.

At the fabulous age of 63, she’s so glad she didn’t listen to their advice. She wears her hair long, wild and free and her clothing can only be described as romantically bohemian. She wears long, ruffled skirts that seem to kiss the floor as she walks (most of the time barefoot), and “off the shoulder” tops that wrap themselves around her body like a hug.

She is grateful that she is nothing like the 60-year-old that shaped her early upbringing. As a matter of fact, she secretly thinks her mother and other family members would have wanted to join her in the freedom we now have at age 60 and beyond.

We have come a long way in breaking the traditional taboos of aging and what it means to grow older. Rather than slipping into quiet conformity, 60+ year-old women everywhere are reclaiming their passion and embodying their inner wild woman.

It’s important to note that reclaiming your inner wild woman is not just about the clothes you wear or the way that you look. It is totally about the way you feel.

Getting a hold of our inner wild woman can be a challenging endeavor. This is because she lives in the undiscovered landscape of our lives, just waiting for the moment we will see her and connect with this part of our lives. The interesting part is that she has always been there. She is ancient and timeless. And full of inner knowing.

She feels deep and thinks even deeper. She follows the call of her Soul. She maneuvers her life by the murmurs of her heart. She is our darkest night and and our sunniest morning. She is totally and undeniably true to herself.

“Within every woman is a wild and natural creature, a powerful force filled with good instincts, passionate creativity, and ageless knowing”. Clarissa Pinkola Estes — Women Who run with the Wolves.

Who is that wild woman within you? You may already know her. That wild woman is you. You may have had glimpses of her all your life. You can find her in your deepest desires and she’s not afraid to stand up for what makes her feel truly alive.

She is authentically who she is — she’s real. She is the part of us who has had enough with feeling small and trying to fit into someone else’s version of life. She longs to dance to the beat of her own drum and shake free all that doesn’t serve her.

The process of reconnecting with your inner wild woman can be scary and takes a little bravery. It can seem like a reckless and shameless thing to do. This is because we have been suppressing her with over working, people pleasing, or trying to be all things to all people.

My friend Nancy claims she met her wild woman in a dream and she stayed there, waiting for the day when Nancy would feel the intoxicating air of longing for a life that was deeper, more soulful, fulfilling and magic.

At 60, she had travelled through her life’s journey so far. She knew what she loved. She knew what didn’t work for her. She had experienced the highs, the lows and the in betweens. Her physical shape had changed, her hair is a different color, she had experienced loss and risen to meet another day.

All along, her wild woman had been with her, waiting for the day that she would come home to herself.

There are ways to connect with your wild woman-

Romance your body. Notice sensations and emotions as they pass through your body. Try to find out what messages are being communicated to you. Treat your body with love and kindness. If you have pain or illness, try to connect with the pain you feel and comfort it as you would a small child.

Follow your creativity. The wild woman is very creative. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as you do it. It could be painting, writing, drawing, dancing, cooking or sewing. Try to make whatever makes you feel alive come through in your creativity.

Don’t die with your dreams. What do you long to do, have experience in or be? Do you have forgotten dreams that need to be brought to light? Do you have a burning passion yearning to be lived? Take this time to nurture your dreams. Give whatever is inside you the freedom to live.

Wear the clothes that express who you are. Look in the mirror and ask your body what it wants to wear. Take the time to create your own style. What are the clothes that make you feel beautiful? Maybe this is the time to explore the clothes you always wanted to wear.

It’s better to look back on life and say: “ I can’t believe I did that.” than to look back and say: “I wish I had done that.”

Hello! Are you Awake?

 

This is NOT a trend…

It seems to be happening all around me. Boho has come back in style and is somehow tied with being more spiritual and closer to nature. Symbols of Hinduism and Buddhism are now the fashion trends. Spiritual awakening seems like the “cool” thing to do these days. I hear about people doing yoga to find themselves and they have no idea what they are even looking for.

In fact, Spiritual awakening isn’t a trend. It’s a change that you can feel to your core. It’s something that starts inside of you and radiates outward. People around you notice it. It’s not the clothes you wear or symbols you carry or tattoo on yourself. When you have an awakening, you glow. Because after all, you have a new light inside you.

You can experience an awakening at any point in your life.

From an early age, I was aware that I wasn’t like everyone else, but couldn’t put my finger on it. I saw things differently and didn’t understand why everyone wanted all these material things, why people couldn’t get along. Now that I’m older, the pieces are starting to fall into place. However, I suspect the process from beginning to end is going to be a long, adventurous one.

They say that you are most likely to experience one right after a traumatic event.

If you are feeling suppressed, be it from a rough relationship or a bad marriage or by religion or beliefs, the awakening process can be prolonged. Feeling like you have no control of who you are and how you will live will slow down the awakening process.

Have no fear. When you finally are able to escape the bondage of your life, you will grow like a lily in the murky waters reaching for the sun.

Once you start the process, it will feel like a tsunami has hit you — but in a good way! If you experience times of sadness and depression, you may have to look at your life and do things differently.

It starts with positive thinking. Our thoughts are energy, so what we send out, we will get back. It is important that you replace every negative thought with a positive one. Within a short amount of time, you will realize that you stop thinking negative and start thinking positive a lot more.

If you notice suppressed memories, understand that these could be things that were traumatic that you need to work through. It is important to learn to forgive yourself and others. It will help you move forward during your awakening.

You will break down and cry. It doesn’t matter if you are a rough and tough man. This is because you are releasing negativity that you’ve been holding on to. It is normal to experience high levels of emotions in order to work through the process of releasing the past.

It is really important to learn to meditate. Try to take 10 minutes a day and calm your mind. This may take a few tries but it will happen. It’s ok to think during meditation, but try to clear your mind. Focus on breathing or focus on an image. Close your eyes. There are different ways to meditate. Surely, you can find one that works for you.

When you are in a meditative state, imagine a white light poured over you like water washing away all the dirt that has built up over your body. See it leaving a glowing, bright you. This may take several days, but you will feel the cleanest and lightest that you’ve ever felt.

You can experience all or some signs of a spiritual awakening, as there are many. They can happen at different points in your awakening process or all at once. You can move at your own pace or quickly. It’s a process that takes many steps, releasing a lot of negativity and healing old wounds. But you will feel so much better!

Symptoms of a Spiritual Awakening

Feeling like you are running out of time. Probably because you are! Not in a bad way. You may get a nagging feeling that you have to get something done. You just don’t know what it is!

Feeling like something is missing. You may have everything that you could ever dream of but it still feels like something is missing. And it isn’t something you can buy. But you know it’s out there.

You crave more meaning and purpose. You want to make your life more meaningful. You feel like life isn’t just about working and dying.

A desire to reconnect with yourself and know who you really are. You may find yourself disconnected from your family, your religion, your sense of self. Take a break, discover what is important to you. Write your feelings, dreams and aspirations. Get out in nature and enjoy your own company.

You’d be surprised how many things you are doing for others and not for yourself that really don’t make you happy. This doesn’t mean that you should turn your back on your responsibilities, but the best you can do for yourself is reconnect with you.

Wanting more solitude. You may want to leave old friends for new ones that you feel more comfortable around. Anger, resentment and hate create walls around you. In the awakening process, you start breaking down those walls and all the things holding you back. This will be something you will continue to go through even after the awakening process as your soul continues to grow.

Feeling of being alone and lost. The process can be difficult because you see things differently than others. You may feel like you’re floating on an ocean with nothing in site. This is normal and means that you’re “leveling up”. These are times of transition for your soul and preparing to go to the next phase in the process.

Seeing society as a fraud. Fake news, fake people, fake everything.

Experiencing more synchronicity. There are no coincidences. Nothing is ever a coincidence. It’s synchronicity. When you ask for something, the Universe delivers!

You start to question everything you were taught.

Feelings of deeper empathy. More compassion, forgiveness and understanding of others.

You worry less and lose interest in conflict with others. You experience more joy and feeling of carefree. You will also experience more love towards others and give without expectation.

You will feel that everything is connected through energy.

Feeling the need to change old negative habits. You might realize that you no longer need to hold on to self-destructive habits.

Wanting to make the world a better place. Depending on what path your soul takes, you could write to teach others how to grow spiritually, help those who are less fortunate, clean the environment, etc.

Hypersensitivity! Feelings of intuition, high emotions, hearing and seeing things that no one else does. You’re not going crazy. It’s part of the process.

A big boost of creativity or inspiration.

A change in sleep patterns. Always feeling tired and spending more time asleep. Large burst of energy with little sleep. Occasional normal sleep patterns. Vivid dreams!!

You may have to make changes to your diet. The foods you used to eat yesterday may not agree with you today. Your body is changing and rejecting processed foods and products that are not good for your body.

You may see things out of the corner of your eye. You may see energy radiating of people and things, and feeling other people’s energy.

Pain in the eyes similar to a headache. This is your third eye opening up. These headaches are known to last for a few days — get some rest and stay away from bright lights as they can irritate your headaches more. Once you learn to use your third eye, you will no longer feel the pressure.

Feelings of no longer being alone. You sense someone there, but when you look, there isn’t. This could be a spirit or an angel.

I highly recommend that you seek professional medical attention if something doesn’t feel right, or is really off, as there could be pre-existing issues that you were not aware of that you would need a medical professional.

Chances are, if you’ve read this far, you may be experiencing a spiritual awakening. Have patience with yourself and enjoy the journey!